Purrfectinsanity-Turn It Up-

2004-09-23T09:03:00.000+08:00

havin a bad day... low self esteeem eating into my skin again...

this world is cold...sometimes i wish ppl wld stop judging other ppl. after all, we're all humans, made of e same bones and blood. wad good wld it do to them if they judge? nothing wld changed. i just can't see our differences. we breathe the same air and decompose into the same ground after death. it's a cruel world.

i need a change in my life... more freedom? a makeover? a closer walk with God? how i wish all these wld come true. but it seems like my life is not for me to live, or have any say in it. i need a BREAK.

waitin for my dad to pick me up. chinese paper's at 10.15 am... i dunno if im in e state of mind to do it. everything's a blur... i'm mentally drained. emotionally drained.

sigh... it's time i do sth about evrything. at least i could try to make life better for myself... maybe it's time i listened to wad my heart tells me, and not wad others tell me.. i ought to live life to the fullest...and not let my life be ruined by evil, cold and squirmy little worms who wanna eat my life away...

Eve, let's do wad we've planned for and alwaez dreamt of. let's just get down to it.

2004-09-22T10:41:00.000+08:00

ok. im sad. disappointed.

why? i mean... i like reserved the first invitations for CREW. but NONE of them can make it for my bbq. either that, or they're not interested... sigh... i'm just sad... but i stil love them... hee =)

gotta help eve do up her blog... im so bored haha....

just tagged some ppl...i feel so alienated.. like they dun knoe me anymore... and we've drifted so much... sigh... how did things turn out like this?

God, do u have an answer?

2004-09-21T13:45:00.000+08:00

whoohooo!! finallay re-vamped my site. i feel... very, very accomplished. HAHA!!

Welcome back peeps.... my fingers r kinda wobbly now... i started at 9 am... it's 12.45 now... 3hrs 45 mins... tt's a record...

this blog has a "party" feel to it... like the DJs, the record and the music.... yea... nice? yes? YES!! it'd better be! *ahem*

gotta get down to studyin sooon.... my pact with God: if he gave me the tickets for Jay's concert, ill touch nothing else but my books til' 'O's r over...

i reali gotta work on that.

EVE: we gotta start on our diet remember??!! haha... LOVE YA BABE. thnx for everything. miss you and i cant waitta c ya again!!

i'll b back tmr. tooodles.

2004-09-17T08:15:00.000+08:00

OMG!!! OMG!!!! like totally!! thank you Jesus!!! thank you sooo much!!!

it's such a grrrreat surrrprrrise!!!

like i wanted to go sooo badly for e Jay Chou concert and public sales onli open next Tuesday.... then there wouldnt b anymore good seats!! even now, just after 5 days of PRIORITY sales to mastercard holders, the good seats are all almost swiped up man!! like $148 seats only have single seats left, and e $128 seats are going, going....

and Eve and I were so flustered over how we were gonna get e best seats asap... and outta e blue last nite my MUMMY called me and told me to meet her at 10am todae to go book!! whooohoo!!! what's more, she's payin for my tic!!! yesh!! yesh!!! to think tt i had to fork out $128 from my already-burnt pockets... Praise God!! it's one of e best birthdae gifts ever!!

Thnx MUMMY!! i thought you refused to pay for me or help me book...thnk u Lord for changing her mind!!! yesh!! yessssss!!!

EVE, we reali gotta get down to studyin, losin weight and clearin those pimples to get ready for 27th Nov when we're gonna meet Jay!!

not to mention *ahem* my B'dae partaye....

supposed to revamp my blog... no time now!! gtg get ready!!

I AM GONNA GET JAY CHOU CONCERT TICS!!! you have sooo much to thabk me for, Eve!!!

toodles!!

P.S. to all those hu think i have gone crazy cuz i've taken to listening to Chinese songs and lovin' JAY CHOU, his songs r reali fantastic... i still speak good English alrite... its just that his songs r sooo cool.... rite Eve?? *wInK*

2004-09-15T13:55:00.000+08:00

sick of blogging...

so, ive booked e chalet: 26th-29th Nov...3nites,4days...

28th Nov is e bbq... my birthday!!

n i have yet to book e tickets to Jay Chou's concert on 27th Nov!!

WHOOOHOOO!!!

Eve, u n i r gonna have sooo much fun and scream bout it back in e chalet together after e concert!!!!!! WHOOOHOOO!!!!

damn.haven invited most of my frens to e bbq yet.

so little time, so much to do.

'O' levels in 7 weeks.

wahahaha.

time to slog awae... study study...!!!

i'm goin crazy.

2004-08-31T10:33:00.000+08:00

ponned sch todae... leavin soon... meetin Yan ...gonna check out my digicam at Sim Lim Square and but a 128MB SD-card... hmm e price has dropped trmrndously...fr near $100 to $50... wow. i feel so...outdated.

stressed out and worried. no appetite. im sooo worried for my O's ... gotta score 15 pts n below man...

feelin damn cranky...

went to Junction8 with Cheryl aft Social Studies prelim yesterdae... went to Fox.. sale!!
bought a black top and a grey miniskirt...

oops!! im wearin it todae and i havent ironed it!! gonna b late!! supposed to meet Yan at 11.15!!

damn. gtg ppl.tc....

2004-08-20T20:35:00.000+08:00

laadeedaa... hmmmz gotta go to my dads hse by myself.. so lazaye... jniffer just called... hope i can meet H.O.W for lunch tmr aft my C.I.P... goin to Agape Children's Home tmr for C.I.P... been there b4... love kids. they remind me of me when i was younger hee... so carefree, so naive so innocent.

hmmmz... thnx to all my frens hu're alwaez behind me... thnx for the comforting taggies...

i guess... ill take it one step at a time...nuthin much i can do...

for now, my main concern is the 'O's!!! TEN MORE WEEKS!!

in ten weeks:

-'O's begin
-ill turn 17 officially (28th Nov.)
-maybe im gonna dye my hair..perhaps curl it too??
-Secondary School life will come to an END.
-i wun get to see my classmates/best frens every week day anymore.sobs.
-i can stay away from Chinese forever and ever. except GOOD Chinese songs. like Jay Chou.
-(I Hope) i'd have lost 8 kg and can finally fit into my 1st pair of Levi's again. Finally.
-(I Hope)my pimples and scars wld have disappeared and i'd have flawless skin again. Finally.
-I can party away with my Mummy, and (I Hope) friends.
-I'll be attending GRAD NITE-whoohoo!!! *prettysexycattyndelicious*
-I'll have to move out of my Granny's hse.and ill nv get to c her everynite again.sobs.
-I'll be takin up the job offered to me at a Korean restaurant n will learn to speak Korean.
-I can finally look forward to Poly life @ Ngee Ann-Acc&Finance.
-MY FUTURE BEGINS.

wow. how time flies!!! ten wks k! damn scared now!! im gonna mugmugmug fr now on!! onli ten wks!! im freaked out!!

God, plsplspls... help me. Pls. Thank You.

2004-08-10T12:49:00.000+08:00

ok... wads new in the life of Sarah Khor?? Depression, Depressed,Defeated.

it's been 25 days since my last entry... prob the longest time ive been awae fr e com... not tt i hav a choice.
im totally like a living dead. or u can sae living hell on earth. my Dad's like... ruined my life, seriously. as many of u noe, im not even allowed to go to my desired church, New Creation anymore. its been weeks (and it will grow into mths) since ive seen any of my beloved frens, besides sch peeps.

im totally deprived. i cant even go anywhere on my own. in other words, im totally grounded for life. yes, u can sae im a loser, u can sae ive got no life. u can sae im a fucking loner, a fucking anti-social... cuz seriously, i dun c e point in living anymore... i dun even have a LIFE, for fuck's sake.

i've come to the pt where im numb. where i just hav no more will or mood or desire to talk to anyone. even when my dad pulls me along to family gatherings, i try my best to back out. i just hate the fact tt WE pretend to b happy and a close-knit family, when in reality, it's all crumbled down. yes, and the fact tt i smile all e time makes it inconceivable tt im bloody UNHAPPY.

ive come to the pt where im numb. when im sad, the tears dun flow. when im angry, the hatred just boils within me but i dun wish to sspit it out. when im happy just for a brief second, i cant smile. and when i talk to anyone, i naturally mask my bitterness with my plastic smile.

i'd sae, i nv knew the meaning of "misery" until this shit opened my bloody eyes to see.

until the dae i get my freedom, i will never b truly happy, or even happy at all.

and to the stepmothers of this world hu think they can just butt into their stepchild's life just like that, FUCK OFF. cuz ur so wrong. u cant make a FUCKING child love u. STEPMOTHER is nothing but a FUCKING term. and not an affectionate one at that.

and to the fathers hu abuse their child in any form (mentally,physically,verbally etc)... i'd sae to u: FUCK OFF. cuz ur just not fit to b a father.

but if ur a parent hu's sincere, warm, loving, caring, understanding and most of all considerate, i suppose i wish i had u as mine.

many hu read this entry wil think im in no position to judge anyone. true, but if u were in my shoes now, going thru wad im going thru now, i dun think u'd b half as "polite" as me, reali.

im sorry ppl, but im seriously DEPRESSED now, and im gonna remain like tt until sth somewhere changes for the better.

dun pity me. just remember tt my dad's the FUCKED UP one. and i dun love him at all. nope. not one single drop of love. eurgh.

ALL MY FRENS OUT THERE:

i reali miss everyone. keep in touch ogay? love all of ya. *mUaH*

2004-07-16T20:00:00.000+08:00

wow. i actuali re-vamped my blog in one day. i actuali did it on 14/7/2004, wed... ponned sch cuz sth cropped up at home.. intended to complete all my math papers, but ended up spending 8 hrs or so juz revamping my blog. so. good work eh? it paid off!!

praise God k! this template is exactly wad i wanted.. dark,broken/distressed angel, black n white, sophisticated yet simple,dark yet feminine.. n e song plus e HTML words below came 2gether w e template..ya cuz i dunno how to input these extra characteristics! haha so loser rite? n this song is exactly wad i wanted for this layout manx! praise god! haha!

wah.. damn stressed now. im failin all my subjects. i think prelims start in August.. Math test every Friday.. tons of work. so little time. i reali regret putting off my studies in sec 3(retained some more!) and this yr's June hols. i feeel tt i juz wasted all my time. i didn think it'd b as hectic as it seems, but im definitely feelin e stress... if i had known, i wld've "chiong" during e hols for my studies n juz b a bookworm, but it's too late.. now my onli hope is my brain and God... i need H.E.L.P!!

seems like evryone's reali busy now. even myself. i reali miss all my frens... cant wait for 'O's to b over then can havoc!! heehee..

im sooo stressed now - probs w my dad, my slacking studies, personal financial probs.. n ive been on a diet since forever but to no avail... o God, pls help me... i wanna fit into my entire wardrobe again! Amenamen!!

this weekend, i swear im gonna complete ALL my long-overdue maths papers n clear ALL my hw... then fr nx week onwards im gonna force my butt to glue to my seat n study CONSISTENTLY WITHOUT FAIL everynite!! hallelujah.. i pray i do..

DIDI: i.m.lost.for.words. thank u sososo much for e diaryland msg... i reali needed tt!! how did u noe i needed such a blessing? u r truly God-sent.. we made no mistake in becoming bro n sis manz.. aft all, ive alwaez wanted a brother.. an older one, but u're 1 yr younger..but its ogay haha!! but seriously, i have another miraculous testimony to share.. e power of prayer.. awesomw manz!! checkitout at H.O.W's blog... i reeeali thank God for such a blessing in my life... alwaez there 4 me, encouraging and listening all e wae... hope i can do sth good for u too!! love u di. just plain love u. =)

2004-07-09T21:22:00.000+08:00

manx... im super duper panicky for e O's now... mayb a lil kiasu, but i have tons of Math papers to complete (which r long overdue), and i sooo do not understand my physics, math n accounts!! oh no! accounts? see!! even my best subject is down e drain!! sighs...

rite.. so now e 2nd week of sch has passed... time does not fly... time juz ... ZOOMs by!!

seriously, im reallay excited for my life aft sec sch... n for those of u hu didn noe, im still plannin to move out on my own.. of course, i've gotta roommate ready to share the joy and pain, the loss and gain, and the riches and the poverty... but im rich, successful, independent and happy in Jesus's name.. Amenamen!!

there r only 3 words to describe how i feel now... UGLY, FAT and STUPID. wel, for those of u hu think im some slim gal, i m absolutely not. i wiegh a hefty ton, and i cant fit into those snug, tight clothes tt were once too loose for me! ok, so i WAS skinny, and now im kinda chubby. wth. ive been tryin to start my diet for 2 weeks alr. but all in vain, i think im reali gonna starve myself. exercise? wel, not now. i have some probs, so i just cant exercise regularly. but once e O's r over, i swear ill hit e gym religiously and prob take up my fave "sport"... DANCING!! whoohoo!!

talk bout UGLY. pimples, pimples, pimples. i doubt my parents'll buy that expensive range of facial products for me anymore. sigh... they sae im too high maintainence. wad e hell?? which sassy prima donna isn't man?? *oOpZ* and lastly, im STUPID. i cant even get accounts rite!! there's no other words tt can describe me...

my week's been ok so far. been to watch SPIDER-MAN2 and MeanGirls... my verdict?? SPIDERMAN RAWKZ MY WORLD ... 5 stars!! im gonna watch it w my other half again!! MeanGirls is juz another waste-of-time-and-money typical chic-flick. wasted $6.50!! shld've saved up for King Arthur!! im gonna catch that too!! whoohoo!! movie craze!!

so there's TZT tmr... im kinda tired, really. drained out. depressed. low low low self esteem.

God, help me.

2004-07-01T17:30:00.000+08:00

hmmmZ.... as usual, in e library haha... better than nothing... i haven been able to c my tagboard for bout 2 mths?? cuz the library coms block any "chat" categories.... yea... ui cant even access H.O.W's blog cuz it's operated by blogdrive.com, and u cant block e tag with blogdrive... guess e system's too smart... o wells, i finallay have time to spare to blog cuz i'm waitin for my dad to get his ass home...he forgot to pass me e key...grrr... stayin w him for one extra dae this week... usually go over on fridays, but my granny's gonna b awae this weekend...sobs... hope i dun quarrel w my dad...

i proposed havin dinner at Jalan Kayu w him tonite, since my stepmum's awae... and anywae, i need to ask him to buy expensive facial stuff for me ltr haha... wish my Mummy was here *whines*... he just doesn understand y i have to use and try out so many facial products... my pimples are back!! i miss my once-flawless complexion... dang.

some stupid PLMGS gals seated at e PC opp me r makin helluva noise... get out and stop whining lahz...

well well!! i'm surprisingly pleased to sae that my first week of sch, so far, has been pretty lovelay... my form mistress arranged our desks, and made us sit in individual grps... sigh... Cheryl and Sam getta sit nx to each other... i can feel myself drifting further fr them alr.. but it's ok... cuz my grp's pretty fun!! we r e grp tt jokes a lot haha!! and we nv fail to make our teachers laugh even when they're annoyed by the distractions we cause haha! but... sigh, the hrs r reallay long now... the earliest time i end sch is 2.30 pm? cuz i have maths remedial on Mon, science prac on Tues, accounts remedial on Wed and weekly math test on FRIDAY!! why why why??!! why a MATH TEST on FRIDAY?? puh-lease... the only day i end "early"(yea, rite) is Thurs. wth.

im startin to have diligence and zeal for sch work now.. aft all, 'O' Levels are in 20 wk's time, and prelims are just 7 wks awae...it's all for my own benefit...and it really feels like we're living lightyrs!! i feel e drive to study hard and just give my all, and trust God for my rewards when i achieve the 15-or-less points hur hur...

and everybody listen up!! i'm turning 17 on Nov 28(approx. 5 mths awae)!! whoohoo!! i cant waitta b 18!! tehn at least ill b eligible for more things... such as -ahem- ChinaBlack!! whoohoo!!

meetin my Mummy on Youth Day... it's a hol!! gonna watch spiderman 2 w her.. hope we finallay get our butts down to e cinemas manx... we've been wanting to catcha gd show for like ages... til' now...

o wells i'd better go now manx.. c if my Dad's hm alr..im super hungry!! o, ive been on a diet since Mon... it's worked quite a bit... i'm determined to re-gain my 48-50kg frame... then i can fit snugly into my old clothes.. shit manx... i need a major wieght-loss breakthrough... miss wearin all my old clothes...

but i ain't gonna skip e prata tonite... take it as a reward for my diligence so far! cheerio!!

2004-06-27T15:57:00.000+08:00

o manx!! guess wad??!! sch resumes tmr!! how miserable can life get?? haha... actruali, its kinda... good, in a way.. at least my dad can't ground me, n i wun b stuck at hm all dae, munching on prawn crackers and dried longans.. think i put on like 2 more kg this June manx... its ok!! cuz i'll lose 1000 X 2kg once sch resumes!! amen amen!! hur hur...

im at e library again, blogging... wel, for those of u hu wonder y cant i juz blog at hm, its cuz my dad totallay forbids me to use e com cuz e internet's "harmful", and at my Granny's hse, e com's down!! geddit??

im super sleepy. and elated. and worried. hurhur... juz got back fr 1st svc... bumped into my Mummy when i was rushing to the Rock this mornin... got a shock!! cuz i dreamt bout e exact incident last nite!! i dreamt of everyone i knew... reali creepy, scary, wierd dream... woke up w a big headache this mornin, and, as usual, was too late to get a seat so i had to b sent to e overflow room... grrr.... when wil i ever have e "gift" of punctuality?? haha... then durin svc, as i was prayin, i suddenly felt tt i shld ask my Mummy to bring me to Mng to get me some clothes cuz everyone ard me's like goin to Mng... e sale is super duper fabulous!! great deals manx!! haha... so aft svc i called my Mummy for lunch n managed to coax her to bring me shopping!! whoohoo!! Praise Jesus!! bought bout 6 tops and 1 black satin micro-miniskirt... whoohoo!! altogether bout $145... luckily my Mummy juz said "no more clothes til u do wel in ur prelims"... haha... tt shld b easy haha!! then i walked her to e carpark n hugged her for e first time in, like, forever!! o manx... i LURVE her to BITS!! *mUaCkZ* then went to meet d gang... shopped again!! but didn buy anything... o manx, im so in lub wid skirts!! when i have enuf cash im gonna go on a skirts spree!! whoohoo!! gonna call Charmaine to go w me... she loves shoppin in cine and far east...

and im worried cuz i have a $141.61 M1 bill to pay my ass off... o manx... God, pls... pop out of anywhere, anytime and give me a hand, manx... and (it's unbelieveable, but it's inevitable)... 'O' Levels are juz 5 mths=approx 22 wks awae!! on e count of 3, everybody..1,2,3: OH NOOOOOOOO!!!

let's c, i haven achieved much this hol except shopping, sleeping, eating, my friends' company, 3 bruises on my flawless legs(boohoo!!!), a lil' more of my dad's trust and my Mummy's love, 1000X more of the knowledge of God's word and His love and.... that's bout it, haha!! which means... i haven't studied!! Good heavens... im totallay worried tt when sch reopens i wun b able to catch up k... muz trust Him manx amen... haven completed math, phys and Bio hw!! n i didn do a single pg of revision!! GRACE GRACE... This is wad u call: IN UR FACE!!

dang.

2004-06-24T12:07:00.000+08:00

phewewew.... my my, how time flies? have not blogged since forever!! exactly 2 wks!! c lahz... now i type so slowly... at e library now... sch's reopening: THIS MONDAY!! hallelujah!! Grace Grace!! haha!! have u all completed ya homework?? all caught up on ya studies?? o manx, i wouldn believe if u said "yes"!!!

This June hol has been probably e most enriching one... wel, i wouldn sae e most fun one, but enriching... learnt a lot more bout God, n ive reali learnt to count on Him in everything u do... w/o Him, id have died long ago.. even when im at my wit's end, somehow, He juz pops outta nowhere n turns everythin ard for GOOD before i can say "IMPOSSIBLE"!!

Well, living w my dad has been a harsh experience, esp since i still hate him... i mean if God wans to change my heart to Love him, He's gonna have a tough time cuz im reali stubborn when it comes to my dad... u shld see e fights we had this holidae!! like two devils throwing daggers ard e hse (not literally, k!!)... Been serving in TZT everywk... kinda tiring, but praise God, he refreshes me...

been spending quality time w my Mummy these few weeks.. haha she's super crappy... God, thank u for such a grrreat mummy!! though she's super imperfect, but i reali LOVE her. if she were to go bankrupt one dae (God forbid!) and cant affaord to buy me branded goods anymore, i'd still Lub Lub her all e same, babeh!! haha...

Juz had breakfast at Compass Point Macs w this cute guy... tan, cute, fit... wah!!! haha... but no chemistry manx... haha juz FRENS k... haha... met him @ 10am... b4 that, at 9 am, i bought my grandma breakfast!! miss her like crazy... cant wait for sch to start, then can resume stayin w her on weekdaez!!

somehow, hols are kinda dreadful to me at this stage cuz my stupid father takes me to stae w him... grrr...

Whoohoo!!! i finallay bought 3 new pairs of shoes!! whoohoo!! black sandals, brown sandals n silver mary janes... haha... my Mummy's shakin her head n my dad's like screaming his head off at me... wads wrong?? aft all, which sassaye, sexaye prima donna can get enuf of shoes? and clothes? and chocolates? and facial products? and narcissistic photographs? and shoes? and clothes?

haha... i need some revelation.

PURRFECT INSANITY MISSES:
her GRANNY
her MUMMY
her PEANUT
her "PUI TER" aka fat pig in Teochew aka her bestfriend, Sam Tay
her BUGGER
her HALF
her SEXAYE
her BIRD
her DIDI
her PUPPY
her caregrp, H.O.W
Valen, Ting Ting, Bok, Sam, Desmond aka CRAPPER, Charmaine, Charlene, Evan...

gonna b a gd gal n go home n complete my Geog, Math, Phys and Bio.
toodles.

2004-06-10T21:49:00.000+08:00

hmmz... at mu bugger's house now w all e peepz hu didn make it to church camp... wa u noe wadd? i sae unto those blessed peepZ hu went for CC... tjose hu didn go for cc are 1000X more blessed!! ahaha!!! amen!! god is gd yewa? we had a nice lil' dinner iunder e stars, n we r havin praise n worship now... but there's some stupid cockroach on the lawn n everyone's like screamin haha....

now it's photo time !! myu fave part!! ahaha... welZ itz been a reali blessed week!! Praise Jesus!! went out w my mum todae... hmmz had a nicelunch w her at Crystal Jade Kitchen... mother-daughter bonding... o wells... cant wait for this Sundae... gonna attend 1st svc w her !! then goin' Dan Ryan's for lunch whoohoo!! Teenzeal this sat... dada's comin back fr Thailand tmr... damn!!! he doesn noe im out now... he'd kill me!! haha... wel wel... im reali trustin God for my shopping list to b fulfilled haha!!!

gtg manx... they're resuming praise n worship... BE BLESSED!!!

whoohoo... like Dion's irritatin my shit outta ma ass... grrr... i feel like kickin' his BALLS... o wait, wad balls??!! haha!!

dang.

2004-06-05T12:59:00.000+08:00

Oh Manx!!!! itz been so long since ive blogged!! 8 daez!! n so many things happened thru'out these 8 daez!! my com's still down... at a cyber cafe now... itz noisy, childish guyz playin CS... sitiin nx to a bunk... kinda cute but.... im STRAIGHT!! hur hur... okie ill start fr 29th May n update u guyz on wad happened kk?

SATURDAE
attended the 1st TZT on Sat... it was Grreat!! lotsa jumping n worshippin haha... after tt had early dinner wid Amanda, Samantha, Xue Ting, Xue Ting's bro, Sean, Desmond, John, Charmaine, Charlene, Joanna, Valentina n Immanuel... Kenneth was sweet... haha he purposely walked Imm n i to BK to look for the gang then he went home... And we went home after dinner...

SUNDAE
attended 1st svc for e first time... with Amanda, Sam, Xue Ting, Desmond, Sean, Charmaine, Charlene n my 1/2... i reallay love 1st... keeps u fresh 4 e whole day... e WORD reallay energizes u manx...
haha n during breakfast Des was reallay funny(as usual)!! the gang had breakfast n lunch together.. reallay enjoy their company.... laugh non-stop!! haha... went to get Enchanted Woods essentials w my 1/2 aft lunch.. spent so much cash k... then went home to pack my backpack...

MONDAE
had CHINESE 'O' LEVELS... was sleeping during P1.... P2 was easy, but i didn study so obviously i cldn fill in e blanks... Wrote rubbish mostly.. not planning to bang on Chi for L1R5 anywae... PRAISE GOD!!! nv nv ever ever gonna touch Chi again in my LIFE!! whoohoo!! German, French n Korean, here i come!!!!

OPERATION ENCHANTED WOODS
after e 'O's, i rushed home, took a bath, picked up my things n went for OPERATION ENCHANTED WOODS!! whoohoo!! To my horror, i was e only gal in my grp!! my caregrp's gals all didn make it except me!! but its alrite, cuz im an independent woman!!! haha there was a FOOD HUNT, like a treasure hunt juz tt u had to solve clues and cross stations to retrieve food for cooking ltr... and i like ran faster than some of my team guys... Zac, Yew Mun, Yew Kit and Hogan were like behind me haha!! Sorray guyz, but r u sure u all let me go 1st, or was i juz faster than u? haha!! we ran barefoot on e road n i didn even complain bout e acorns n stones hurting my foot, but e guyz behind me were like "ouch!! ow!! ow!!" haha!! n thnx to my sweeties hu cheered me on!!

During dinner, i realized tt guyz can cook maggi mee but r v impatient haha... n i was e one hu cleared all e rubbish up after dinner k!! u guyz owe me a BIG one!! haha!! if u all didn have a gal in ur grp, i think u wouldn have cleaned up ur litter so fast!! haha!!

Praise n worship n Campfire was great... during Campfire, we sang e "Titanic" song... n "Where's my peanut?"... haha!!! Li Ling n i were laughing so hard over e peanut song tt Pamela had to pull us apart!! haven laughed so hard in ages!! thnx, Peanut no.2!! I'm no.1, and Pam is no.3!! haha!! Sean is Snoopy!! haha...

aft Campfire i took a shower in e filthy toilet n we all changed into track pants for solo walk... ScArY....

had games b4 solo walk... There was this game where u had to carry a candle n tryn to burst the other teams' balloons... and defend ur own team's balloons... the leaders went round to try and burst all our balloons! when they attacked us at one go with like 7-8 ppl, i was practically squashed against T. Zu Ming and Zhen lor!! wa lauz!! obscene ah!! haha then we had e solo walk... my grp waited like 1hr 45mins to go for e walk... we were all sleeping while seated on e ground lor... then when it was my turn to walk alone, i was shivering all over...n terrified... but i got thru it by e grace of God.. prayed like hell thru'out... Jer Liang scared me w a "BOO!!" at e last part of e solo walk k!! i cried lor!! wa lauz... then met T. Joy, hu directed us to e pair walk... supposed to partner Eugene.... but ended up w Hogan... i practically almost tore his sleeve!! was pulling and grabbing his sleeve while we walked lor haha... wad Zhen said was true.... We never walk alone even when we actually are, physically.. cuz spiritually, rite beside u, God is walking w u...

After e walk and everyone was back at e tent, I went round takin pics w everyone of my sweetiez... but my grp, PUFFERFISH, didn wanna take a pic.. sigh... nvm, another time during caregrp...

went Macs for breakfast w Joy, Alicia n Li Ling... we all looked like raw eggs... too tired and puffy-eyed haha!! went home w Li Ling... we were sleeping on e train thru'out... we parted at SengKang MRT, and i went home...

TUESDAE
aft reaching home, i'd reali wanted to juz bathe n slp, but i had to spend e whole day packing my room... clearing rubbish n old books... now my room damn neat n clean larh... haha... slept at 10 pm... wow!! Praise Jesus!! i stayed awake from 5.30am Mon to 10pm Tues!! 40.5 hrs manx!! whoohoo!! Praise God for e energy!! was supposed to go S'pore Poly for some experience function, but was too busy n dead beat...

WEDNESDAE
brought my Granny out for lunch... went home then cleared my closet for e whole dae... i seriously need ta go shopping manx... i need to change my wardrobe... itz damn outdated lahz... sigh i claim a brand new sexaye fashionable overflowing wardrobe in Jesus' name!! Amen!!

THURSDAE
went to sch for class... actuali not reali... i was late for Math... it was 8.30am-10am... i reached at 9.45 am haha... then skipped Social Studies which was fr 10am-11am... sigh... but watched Harry Potter w Sam Tay, Cheryl, Sam Fam, Debra E., Rosheila n Steph Koh... e movie was interesting.... tink im gonna borrow e other 2 DVDs... HAPPAY BELATED B'DAE, SAM!!! i reallay hope u love e gift n card.... heeZ... SiStAz 4-eva!!! LOVE YA!!!

FRIDAE
went for Festival of Praise... met my Peanut no.2, my sexaye, Clara, Constance and my Bird[Becky] at Lido... was supposed to meet em earlier for Gelare, but was too damn late lahz... then Constance, Clara n Li Ling left 1st, and Becky, Joy and i waited for Melvin to finish work then share cab 2gether... haha... Melvin's reali funny... e Chews r sooo cute!!! haha!!We reached e Indoor Stadium n met all e TZTers... missed u all!!! *MuAh*

Hillsongs RAWK!! esp Darlene... i 4got how to spell her surname... but she's so annointed.... i was so excited seeing Hillsongs for e 1st time... its a pity i cant go again tonite... wanted her autograph.... hmmz nvm nx yr nx yr!! ahaha trust God manx... Amen!!

SATURDAE
well... here i m typin awae... at a stinko noisy dark cyber cafe... O God, pls pls pls heal my com... I claim a healed com in Jesus' name, Amen!! haha... Thank u Lord for so much fun this June hols n all my SwEEtIez hu r alwaez there 4 me... Thnk u Thnk u...

SHOUTOUTS:

Peanut no.2: heyz babe... thnx sooo much for all e laughter... nv thot we wld b this close... when i 1st gotta noe u ithot we wld nv b true frens but now i noe... it's Christ in us tt makes us Love manx... Amen!! Love ya!! *Where's my peanut?? In e fruit bowl!!* hurhur...

Chew/Jolyn/Alicia: heyz u babez!! nice noeing u guyz yea?? i thnk God 4 ya!! *mUah*

My 1/2: heyz Princess.... thnx for alwaez standin by me n alwaez being there 4 me... i miss u.... we'll catch up soon kk? we still have to go Starbucks manx!! Oii!!! Hurry come back fr M'sia manx!! heehee XOXO

Imm*Di: heyz di... man of God!!! Leader-in-the-making!! ur Jie loves u kk?? anyone bully u tell me yea?? ill kill him or her haha!! o n ur new hair RAWKZ!! haha *LoVeLoVe*

Justin/TingTing/Bok/Sam/Valen/Sean/Des>the Gang:
heyz SweeTiEz... ya noe... i reallay .love hangin out w u guyz!! id love to stick ard more, but sumtimes reali cant .... yea thnx for being great frens and for makin me laugh til my jaw drops manx haha!!
Love u all.... *BeArHuGg*

Constance/Clara: heyz babeZ of Christ... glad we're totallay lovin' each other now, yea?? I c potential Great Leaders of TZT in u gals!!! WE RAWK!! haha!!!

Joel: heyz eLmO!!!! heehee u reallay make me laugh sumtimes... newaez its great knowing u, dude.... we shld catch up sumtime yea?? c ya ard... *LoVeLoVe*

2004-05-28T12:13:00.005+08:00

tsk tsk tsk... ma computer is down.. gonna get a shelling. maybe ill nv b allowed to touch it again... spotted some "bootstrap" problem and called Dowell Computer Services... they told me the harddisc is faulty!! this is e 2nd time my uncle has to repair the com.. n im e onli one using it.. how can a Pentium 4 com b sooo lousy? sigh gonna get screwed... n its not my fault tt e com fell sick...

feelin elated today(screw the com)...God has yet again saved my life with his wonderful miracles... ponned sch.. actuali todae there was no sch... there was Founder's Day Mass... so i skipped it... but i still woke up at 6 am... got dressed, went down to the void deck benches to sit n read my book. ok, come to think of it, i feel guilty now tt i haven been readin my bible... been reading emotion-evoking novels... n i was just sittin there reading... the wind felt chilly but lovely.. the air thin and fresh, unlike afternoon air... i love morning and nite breezes...

went back home at 8.20 am... tried to switch on my com... but it refused to activate properly... stupid thing. hmph.

chatted w my granny bout life... had breakfast (cornflakes in magnolia choc milk topped with loads of milo powder...)... slept.. got dressed and here i m at the library using the com. gonna search for more novels later... i love books. they take u away to another world, and u juz get lost in the story... for a moment u have the ability to be someone else, and u're just soaring in ur dreams... until the occasional distractions in the real world snap u back to reality. grrr. i hate being disturbed when i read. u snap me back to reality, ill snap u to nothing. gggrrrrr.

seems like i haven blogged for 3 days alr... ponned sch on tues... it was netball carnival... i signed up for cheerleading but i didn go... they replaced me... guess they thot i wasn turning up either haha... wed and thurs had chi intensive from 8-11 am.. Sam and i, on both days... slept, woke up, got sooo damn hungry and sneaked out of class (a few classes were there)... went to the canteen to eat... can u imagine... a hot plate of food after being frozen to death in the AVA room ... woah...

and on thurs my teachers reprimanded me for flopping mid-yr. "sarah, pls pls pls study. i want an A1. Dun say u cant, u have the ability to. What's wrong? U're such a nice girl. I noe u have family probs but pls dun sacrifice ur 'O' Levels over personal issues. I want to see ur Dad."

that sorta sums up wad all my teachers told me. yea i reali feel the drive to study hard now. think bout it. if i get good results, i can move out without worries that i'll b jobless in future, i can talk my mum into sponsoring me for rental fees and sch fees, and i can coax my dad into letting me b on my own. so there.

Teenzeal tmr. im reali busy now. got so many sch activites during the 1st two weeks of June... got church stuff too... im collecting my report book tmr. Dad's in Bangkok w my stepmum, and he's gonna c the teachers after he gets back on the 9th. not forgetting my PRINCIPAL. so dead.

Miss my mum. Miss my granny. Miss Cheryl and Sam.

Chi 'O' Levels on Monday. ive given up on Mother Tongue. im never gonna touch chinese again for the rest of my life after 31st May. WhooHooo!!! German, French and Korean, HERE I COME!!!

im sick worried tt i wun b able to stae up for Operation Enchanted Woods. It's after my Os... gonna wake up at 5.30 am and stae awake til' Tues morning?? bullshit. even a cow wld collapse.

and on Tues i have this Poly Experience at Singapore Poly at 1.15 pm til 6.30pm. Where to find the energy??

O god. so many things to do. so lil' time. not enuf rest. just hope ill lose weight in the process, then at least ill get sth out of it. Told u i'd b busy. this yr is a busybusy yr. gotta plan well, work hard and save money.

My plans seem purrfect... but im not invincible. wad if i falter? wad if everything steers awae from the path ive laid out for myself? sheesh.

Worries, i sae unto u...

GET LOST.

sarah is HUNGRY. wad's new? hahahaha...

2004-05-28T12:13:00.004+08:00

2004-05-28T12:13:00.003+08:00

tsk tsk tsk... ma computer is down.. gonna get a shelling. maybe ill nv b allowed to touch it again... spotted some "bootstrap" problem and called Dowell Computer Services... they told me the harddisc is faulty!! this is e 2nd time my uncle has to repair the com.. n im e onli one using it.. how can a Pentium 4 com b sooo lousy? sigh gonna get screwed... n its not my fault tt e com fell sick...

feelin elated today(screw the com)...God has yet again saved my life with his wonderful miracles... ponned sch.. actuali todae there was no sch... there was Founder's Day Mass... so i skipped it... but i still woke up at 6 am... got dressed, went down to the void deck benches to sit n read my book. ok, come to think of it, i feel guilty now tt i haven been readin my bible... been reading emotion-evoking novels... n i was just sittin there reading... the wind felt chilly but lovely.. the air thin and fresh, unlike afternoon air... i love morning and nite breezes...

went back home at 8.20 am... tried to switch on my com... but it refused to activate properly... stupid thing. hmph.

chatted w my granny bout life... had breakfast (cornflakes in magnolia choc milk topped with loads of milo powder...)... slept.. got dressed and here i m at the library using the com. gonna search for more novels later... i love books. they take u away to another world, and u juz get lost in the story... for a moment u have the ability to be someone else, and u're just soaring in ur dreams... until the occasional distractions in the real world snap u back to reality. grrr. i hate being disturbed when i read. u snap me back to reality, ill snap u to nothing. gggrrrrr.

seems like i haven blogged for 3 days alr... ponned sch on tues... it was netball carnival... i signed up for cheerleading but i didn go... they replaced me... guess they thot i wasn turning up either haha... wed and thurs had chi intensive from 8-11 am.. Sam and i, on both days... slept, woke up, got sooo damn hungry and sneaked out of class (a few classes were there)... went to the canteen to eat... can u imagine... a hot plate of food after being frozen to death in the AVA room ... woah...

and on thurs my teachers reprimanded me for flopping mid-yr. "sarah, pls pls pls study. i want an A1. Dun say u cant, u have the ability to. What's wrong? U're such a nice girl. I noe u have family probs but pls dun sacrifice ur 'O' Levels over personal issues. I want to see ur Dad."

that sorta sums up wad all my teachers told me. yea i reali feel the drive to study hard now. think bout it. if i get good results, i can move out without worries that i'll b jobless in future, i can talk my mum into sponsoring me for rental fees and sch fees, and i can coax my dad into letting me b on my own. so there.

Teenzeal tmr. im reali busy now. got so many sch activites during the 1st two weeks of June... got church stuff too... im collecting my report book tmr. Dad's in Bangkok w my stepmum, and he's gonna c the teachers after he gets back on the 9th. not forgetting my PRINCIPAL. so dead.

Miss my mum. Miss my granny. Miss Cheryl and Sam.

Chi 'O' Levels on Monday. ive given up on Mother Tongue. im never gonna touch chinese again for the rest of my life after 31st May. WhooHooo!!! German, French and Korean, HERE I COME!!!

im sick worried tt i wun b able to stae up for Operation Enchanted Woods. It's after my Os... gonna wake up at 5.30 am and stae awake til' Tues morning?? bullshit. even a cow wld collapse.

and on Tues i have this Poly Experience at Singapore Poly at 1.15 pm til 6.30pm. Where to find the energy??

O god. so many things to do. so lil' time. not enuf rest. just hope ill lose weight in the process, then at least ill get sth out of it. Told u i'd b busy. this yr is a busybusy yr. gotta plan well, work hard and save money.

My plans seem purrfect... but im not invincible. wad if i falter? wad if everything steers awae from the path ive laid out for myself? sheesh.

Worries, i sae unto u...

GET LOST.

sarah is HUNGRY. wad's new? hahahaha...

2004-05-28T12:13:00.002+08:00

tsk tsk tsk... ma computer is down.. gonna get a shelling. maybe ill nv b allowed to touch it again... spotted some "bootstrap" problem and called Dowell Computer Services... they told me the harddisc is faulty!! this is e 2nd time my uncle has to repair the com.. n im e onli one using it.. how can a Pentium 4 com b sooo lousy? sigh gonna get screwed... n its not my fault tt e com fell sick...

feelin elated today(screw the com)...God has yet again saved my life with his wonderful miracles... ponned sch.. actuali todae there was no sch... there was Founder's Day Mass... so i skipped it... but i still woke up at 6 am... got dressed, went down to the void deck benches to sit n read my book. ok, come to think of it, i feel guilty now tt i haven been readin my bible... been reading emotion-evoking novels... n i was just sittin there reading... the wind felt chilly but lovely.. the air thin and fresh, unlike afternoon air... i love morning and nite breezes...

went back home at 8.20 am... tried to switch on my com... but it refused to activate properly... stupid thing. hmph.

chatted w my granny bout life... had breakfast (cornflakes in magnolia choc milk topped with loads of milo powder...)... slept.. got dressed and here i m at the library using the com. gonna search for more novels later... i love books. they take u away to another world, and u juz get lost in the story... for a moment u have the ability to be someone else, and u're just soaring in ur dreams... until the occasional distractions in the real world snap u back to reality. grrr. i hate being disturbed when i read. u snap me back to reality, ill snap u to nothing. gggrrrrr.

seems like i haven blogged for 3 days alr... ponned sch on tues... it was netball carnival... i signed up for cheerleading but i didn go... they replaced me... guess they thot i wasn turning up either haha... wed and thurs had chi intensive from 8-11 am.. Sam and i, on both days... slept, woke up, got sooo damn hungry and sneaked out of class (a few classes were there)... went to the canteen to eat... can u imagine... a hot plate of food after being frozen to death in the AVA room ... woah...

and on thurs my teachers reprimanded me for flopping mid-yr. "sarah, pls pls pls study. i want an A1. Dun say u cant, u have the ability to. What's wrong? U're such a nice girl. I noe u have family probs but pls dun sacrifice ur 'O' Levels over personal issues. I want to see ur Dad."

that sorta sums up wad all my teachers told me. yea i reali feel the drive to study hard now. think bout it. if i get good results, i can move out without worries that i'll b jobless in future, i can talk my mum into sponsoring me for rental fees and sch fees, and i can coax my dad into letting me b on my own. so there.

Teenzeal tmr. im reali busy now. got so many sch activites during the 1st two weeks of June... got church stuff too... im collecting my report book tmr. Dad's in Bangkok w my stepmum, and he's gonna c the teachers after he gets back on the 9th. not forgetting my PRINCIPAL. so dead.

Miss my mum. Miss my granny. Miss Cheryl and Sam.

Chi 'O' Levels on Monday. ive given up on Mother Tongue. im never gonna touch chinese again for the rest of my life after 31st May. WhooHooo!!! German, French and Korean, HERE I COME!!!

im sick worried tt i wun b able to stae up for Operation Enchanted Woods. It's after my Os... gonna wake up at 5.30 am and stae awake til' Tues morning?? bullshit. even a cow wld collapse.

and on Tues i have this Poly Experience at Singapore Poly at 1.15 pm til 6.30pm. Where to find the energy??

O god. so many things to do. so lil' time. not enuf rest. just hope ill lose weight in the process, then at least ill get sth out of it. Told u i'd b busy. this yr is a busybusy yr. gotta plan well, work hard and save money.

My plans seem purrfect... but im not invincible. wad if i falter? wad if everything steers awae from the path ive laid out for myself? sheesh.

Worries, i sae unto u...

GET LOST.

sarah is HUNGRY. wad's new? hahahaha...

2004-05-28T12:13:00.001+08:00

tsk tsk tsk... ma computer is down.. gonna get a shelling. maybe ill nv b allowed to touch it again... spotted some "bootstrap" problem and called Dowell Computer Services... they told me the harddisc is faulty!! this is e 2nd time my uncle has to repair the com.. n im e onli one using it.. how can a Pentium 4 com b sooo lousy? sigh gonna get screwed... n its not my fault tt e com fell sick...

feelin elated today(screw the com)...God has yet again saved my life with his wonderful miracles... ponned sch.. actuali todae there was no sch... there was Founder's Day Mass... so i skipped it... but i still woke up at 6 am... got dressed, went down to the void deck benches to sit n read my book. ok, come to think of it, i feel guilty now tt i haven been readin my bible... been reading emotion-evoking novels... n i was just sittin there reading... the wind felt chilly but lovely.. the air thin and fresh, unlike afternoon air... i love morning and nite breezes...

went back home at 8.20 am... tried to switch on my com... but it refused to activate properly... stupid thing. hmph.

chatted w my granny bout life... had breakfast (cornflakes in magnolia choc milk topped with loads of milo powder...)... slept.. got dressed and here i m at the library using the com. gonna search for more novels later... i love books. they take u away to another world, and u juz get lost in the story... for a moment u have the ability to be someone else, and u're just soaring in ur dreams... until the occasional distractions in the real world snap u back to reality. grrr. i hate being disturbed when i read. u snap me back to reality, ill snap u to nothing. gggrrrrr.

seems like i haven blogged for 3 days alr... ponned sch on tues... it was netball carnival... i signed up for cheerleading but i didn go... they replaced me... guess they thot i wasn turning up either haha... wed and thurs had chi intensive from 8-11 am.. Sam and i, on both days... slept, woke up, got sooo damn hungry and sneaked out of class (a few classes were there)... went to the canteen to eat... can u imagine... a hot plate of food after being frozen to death in the AVA room ... woah...

and on thurs my teachers reprimanded me for flopping mid-yr. "sarah, pls pls pls study. i want an A1. Dun say u cant, u have the ability to. What's wrong? U're such a nice girl. I noe u have family probs but pls dun sacrifice ur 'O' Levels over personal issues. I want to see ur Dad."

that sorta sums up wad all my teachers told me. yea i reali feel the drive to study hard now. think bout it. if i get good results, i can move out without worries that i'll b jobless in future, i can talk my mum into sponsoring me for rental fees and sch fees, and i can coax my dad into letting me b on my own. so there.

Teenzeal tmr. im reali busy now. got so many sch activites during the 1st two weeks of June... got church stuff too... im collecting my report book tmr. Dad's in Bangkok w my stepmum, and he's gonna c the teachers after he gets back on the 9th. not forgetting my PRINCIPAL. so dead.

Miss my mum. Miss my granny. Miss Cheryl and Sam.

Chi 'O' Levels on Monday. ive given up on Mother Tongue. im never gonna touch chinese again for the rest of my life after 31st May. WhooHooo!!! German, French and Korean, HERE I COME!!!

im sick worried tt i wun b able to stae up for Operation Enchanted Woods. It's after my Os... gonna wake up at 5.30 am and stae awake til' Tues morning?? bullshit. even a cow wld collapse.

and on Tues i have this Poly Experience at Singapore Poly at 1.15 pm til 6.30pm. Where to find the energy??

O god. so many things to do. so lil' time. not enuf rest. just hope ill lose weight in the process, then at least ill get sth out of it. Told u i'd b busy. this yr is a busybusy yr. gotta plan well, work hard and save money.

My plans seem purrfect... but im not invincible. wad if i falter? wad if everything steers awae from the path ive laid out for myself? sheesh.

Worries, i sae unto u...

GET LOST.

sarah is HUNGRY. wad's new? hahahaha...

2004-05-24T12:09:00.000+08:00

manx.... changing this template took me approx. 3 hrs? haha.... but i succeeded!! yea babeh... now it looksdamn good.. rite? rite? haha.... SARAH IS STILL DEPRESSED... guess hu made me more depressed this morning? sigh... hu else but my dad again...

haha.. ponned sch todae- AGAIN. they're all checkin papers in sch... guess e whole class'll get to noe my marks... not tt i did too well...

the last weeekend was... kinda cool? on Saturday, my sch had a walkathon.... i'm glad i went... had fun with my team - Cheryl, Sam Tay, Angie and Steph... Sam Fam didn come... each team was given a list of qns to answer... it's sth like a treaure hunt... except tt we had to find answers along the streets of S'pore, not treasures haha.... Sam Tay n i were practically e onli ones enthu bout e quiz.. we were apart from our team most of e time... they were sauntering all e wae.. sheesh! we walked from CHIJMES all e way to Toa Payoh (the old school site) to Thomson Rd (the temporary sch site)... surprisingly, i didn feel tired until we handed in our quiz sheets somewhere in Balestier.. i guess e fun kept us goin haha...

...and we were one of e grps to win a prize! yea but they gave us a Dettol Body Soap sample, a bottle of Clearasil Toner, a CD-R and a CD case... nothing interesting... and luckilySam Fam didn come, cuz there were just enuf prize items for 5 ppl...

then Cheryl, Sam and i went for lunch at Taka... i had some Jap noodles... they wre nice in e beginning, then i filled up very fast and got SICK of it... dun try it, peeps. Reached home 'bout 3 pm... i had wanted to slp, but i got so carried away with talkin t my stepmum and reading my book that i missed out on my rest... went to chomp chomp for dinner... e food's nice... e "ah-bal-ling" there is e best i've tasted of all e hawker centres... oh, but u come out of the place smelling like a wide variety of food... so pls wear sth tt u wouldn mind dirtying manx...

Sunday was the last Teenzeal to b held on Sunday... had fun in church.. and i could go for 3rd.. was challenging tall Timothy aka Timmeetea to Daytona... he let me win the two games we played... feel so useless haha... *thanks anyway Timmeetea*

met Jemz's mum.. and Jemz himself.. he's so funny!! very nice to tease him haha!! bumped into Eng Kee as well... y are all e guyz so tall? i feel like a migid... but tall is nice haha...

been sleepin at 2 am and gettin up at 6 am for the past few days.. hope i dun fall sick...

ppl, go read: Gossip Girl by Cecily von Diegesar...
it's more fore felines, but it's a great book! trust me... get it at ur nearest library... guyz, it's not tt gay so u mite wanna try it haha...

gtg collect e photos i sent for developing ystday... it's so hot.

is it the weather?... or is it just ME??

haha! cheerio.

P.S. TAG ME!!

2004-05-21T20:47:00.000+08:00

finally, my blog looks much better now dun ya'll agree? im like reali rushin now so i juz chose this simple layout which turned out alrite... still screwed up a lil but its still under construction yea? ill update it asap... o n my tagboard still aint workin but ill fix it real soon.... sigh gtg peepz...

still suffering from serious depression....

cheerio.

2004-05-19T17:47:00.000+08:00

can my depression get any deeper? sigh.

failed math.
failed chinese.
failed mid-yr.
havent even opened my chinese textbook since january.
12 more days to 'O' levels chinese paper...
which means 12 more days to my doom.
mum n dad'll b so pissed... therefore,
i'm gonna get more grounded in e weeks to come.
blog is screwed up.
so many probs to solve. so little time.
contemplating if i shld work in june. gotta study. but i need cash.

and yes, yes i noe i can go for operation enchanted woods. it was a miracle that that f**ked up father of mine said "ok" when i asked him.

yes, yes i noe ive got great frens there for me.

yes, yes, i noe im better off then e victims of war and famine.

BUT I AM NOT SATISFIED.

this world is crazy. and i swear singaporeans dunno e true meaning of "misery" and " trouble" and " disaster".

the fire alarm went off during recess todae. was halfway thru enjoying my malt candy...

and we had to "rush" to e car park, where we assemble every morning .... under e scorching sun. i was melting. and so was my candy.

and to think tt we didn rush there manx, we juz strolled while e "kiasu" ones pushed us... "fire alarm! fire alarm!"
my frens n i were like.... "big deal?"

haha. and i was still enjoying my malt candy when we assembled at e car park. i was twisting e candy around e chopsticks... until i saw my discipline mistress staring threateningly at me. thank god i'd finished it already.

then e whole grp of us strated laughing out loud. i said, "can u imagine? there the fire alarm juz went off, and here we are still strolling, eating, not giving a damn bout e situation!"

we laughed some more. and then we saw 2 gals w their plates in hand. MUAHAHAHA!!!!! wad doofs they are. discipline mistress said into e mike " your food is more important than ur life!"

true.true. thats why i said, singaporeans wil b DEAD in less than 10 hrs... if ever (grace,grace, mercy,mercy) there is a war/famine...

cuz we cant take no pain, no suffering, no hunger, no thirst, no sacrifice...

we are too PAMPERED.

but then again, i wouldn mind being oblivious to e troubles of this world. i wouldn mind being rich n famous, beautiful n jaded.
and very comfortable.

at least i wouldn have to worry.

tsktsk.
depression, depression.

YOU ARE DRAINING ME.

killing me softly....

i'm bleeding on the inside.

but no one sees the blood.

but i feel it. it's gushing.
and my life...

is incomplete.

2004-05-17T13:02:00.000+08:00

heyz this msg is for my DIDI... Immanuel.... pls help me check wads wrong k? scroll down e left panel...u wil notice repititions of the details... thnx dear ...

sigh. juz cant get this blog rite. maybe i shld change address? but its such a hassle. maybe i ought to change my template? sigh. chinese o levels in 15 days. prepare to die. bleagh.

2004-05-14T10:48:00.000+08:00

if any of u can c a new template, or was it unsuccessful? anywae im tryin to change e template...of course, its disastrous... wad a loser i m!! pardon me everyone, if my blog is distorted or sth? sth's reali wrong... i promise ill get it fixed by nx week ok? its my first time tryin to do this thing on my own... im a HTML virgin, btw... so... sigh. im pissed manx. ill getb it fixed soon... ciao.

----------UNDER CONSTRUCTIN SIAZ------------------

2004-05-13T14:56:00.000+08:00

OH MY GOD. guess hu i saw todae? haha. no one great actuali..juz ...some jerk. hu made me cry. but...hu's reali cute!! haha...and tall...and charming...and smart...n tall...and charming... haha cant believe i'd still say nice things bout a jerk. sheesh.

Had my last paper today- Accounts! my fave subject haha!! but i didn have enuf time... laft out one whole qn... 25 marks! nvm.... i was aiming for an A1.. looks like now...i'll prob get B3....

its funny how im not goin out todae... its e last dae of exams manx...forgot to call my cousin last nite to plan for this afternoon. o wells. anyway, im meetin Mummy tmr!! whoohoo! aft all, my plans didn get ruined! Hallelujah!!(oopz...was that spelt correctly?) meetin my mum @ LIDO tmr... 12 noon...any of u guyz gonna b ard there? gimme a buzz k? movie, lunch, dinner... ermZ, dun tink ill get to do any SHOPPING tmr.. sigh... plus my results for mid yr are damn lousy... looks like ill have to wait til after prelims then maybe she'll pamper me again...

cried juz now. No! not over that guy!! it's 'cuz i practised so damn hard for my maths but i still failed. i got e lowest in class. 38%. feelin LOSERish. there goes my June hols. dads gonna ground me "deeper", and i'm gonna have to go to work. dad said tt if i dun do well, he's not gonna give me cash this Hol so i'm gonna have to WORK. F*** tt jerk. Hate him to e CORE.

currently in a state of depression. cant eat. dun wanna talk much/at all. no interest in life. dun feel like goin out. i'm soooo not myself. My whole world is tumbling down. Personal money probs(stuff to pay off;no money for necessary shopping), studies failing, grounded for life, a horrible father... manx, i need some "miracle dust" for some revelation manz....

.:Lord, where are you? I need u real bad:.

i'm juz thinkin... its only in times when i'm realli needy tt i start to appreciate my blessings more...and its onli in times when i'm reali helpless tt i cry out to my Father in Heaven.

Just what is this world coming to???

Heyz, Monday's my sch marking day, so dudes/babes... if u'd like a date w me, pls contact me SOON... haha!! seriously.... i need to get out. and enjoy myself, that is.

--->i'mfallingtoodeep.sopls.someone.saveme<---

2004-05-11T11:48:00.000+08:00

hmmmz... i'd like to say- e weather's killin me!! mr sun's been super hyper these few days. grrrr. *rainraincomeagainandsavetheday*

had a horrible friday. and saturday. but Sunday was... better? went to church in e morn and then met my aunts, uncles and cousins for lunch. Abigail, Alicia, Eve: I LOVE U GUYZ!!
had Macs for breakfast on Sunday... Constance flew to buy back for some of us.... sausage mcmuffin n hashbrown-yum-... and guess wad? my silly cousins dragged me to Macs for lunch-again. Fish mcdippers,fries and a hot fudge Sundae. r u guyz tryin to make me FAT??

i was totallay missin my granny durin e weekend... maybe cuz my dad turned hysterically angry and mean. yeayea. another big fight. i'd sae,wad's new? -jerk-

had Physics paper todae. was so angry w my dad for insultin me ystdae "you're gonna flung ur 'O' levels. i wun b surprised." .... ok, fine. and so i chose not to study last nite. didn even touch my book. i noe its stupid of me, but knowing my temper.... i'm hopelessly impulsive. i alwaez tell ppl not to say things about me when i didn do it or when i'm not goin to do it. but most of e time THEY end up pissin e hell outta me, n i end up doin sth to spite em. told YA to lay off. u chose not to. so dun blame ME for treatin u like DUNG.

o wells... i'm tryin to figure out how to change my template... HTML virgin, u c... haha.... Geog paper tmr... on e count of three, everybody sae it together....1,2,3! "i'm gonna fail!" haha!! wad to do? not enuf preparation... no point broodin over it.

meetin my mum this Fri!!! hopefully no one stirs up trouble last minute.... haven seeen Mummy for almost a mth!! miss her so much!! Mummy: Happy Belated Mothers' Day!! k...kinda late, but i didn get ta c her e last weekend so we're havin our Mothers' Day dinner this Fri instead... i have no papers on Fri which means i dun hafta go ta sch!! whoooohooo!!! gonna meet up w ma frens... hopefully...

Sarah_myotherhalf: Sarah... thnx for being there for me esp durin this tough time now w my dad.... i feel tt my problems are takin a toll on this frenship... cuz nowadays i dun feel like talkin much or sharin my probs... cuz its e same thing over and over again... and my Faith is backslidin... so pray for me, and thnx for bein a pillar of support tt i noe i can fall back on anytime... my dad's reali makin me lose interest in life... only DADDY can revive me... we're both reali busy w our own lives-studies,ministries,frens,family... hope tt after O levels things'll b more relaxed yea.... we gotta catch up whenever we can... wadever it is, i'll b holdin on to this frenship and no matter how far back it gets pushed behind sometimes, i'll still hold on to this frenship we've established... dun let go no matter wad too, k? ilu. [1/2 + 1/2 = 1]

Godwithus_Slothdidi: heyz didi... u noe i juz read ur blog n it was oh-so-enri9ching... thnx for sharin so much good news... as i'd mentioneed my Faith is "disintergrating"... and i guess ur entries did revive it a lil'... e rest depends on my perserverance to hang on til' i see victory... so u tc k? n we'll catch up.. as in REALLAY CATCH UP after my 'O's and ur 'N'.... i promise, bro. *HuGz*

Cliff: pro-yo, brudder... life goin great for u? haha i sure hope so... well u're one of those ppl hu reali keeps me goin... simply by just listening, and givin me words of encouragement... i'm reali glad i came to New Creation and met so many lovelay ppl... like u!! haha... didja ever noe u're like one of e first ppl i noticed? haha cuz u were like talkin so loud to Becky, and u were in charge of soccer for the Teenzeal day camp at East Coast beach.. tink it was 2001? 2002? haha dunno if u can remember.... kk u tc n stae cool! pro-yo manx haha!!

CREW: well well.... e most blessed ppl in Teenzeal!! *amenamen* haha!! we r reali growin in quantity and quality manx.... under e guidance of Zhen, Cheryl and T. Zu Ming... it alwaez brightens up my Sundae to noe tt i'm gonna have fun crappin', laughin' and servin' with CREW!!! Love u all!! Babes+Hunks of CREW... stae sassay and sexaye!! XOXO

+ifuwalkedawayfrommetoday.i'dstillsingcelebrationsofu.cuz*ilu+

2004-05-07T10:32:00.000+08:00

just got back fr Biology paper in sch.... it was ok lahz... considering tt i didn even open my textbook... i only read two pages of notes on "adrenalin" and "digestion" haha!! can pass can pass... juz tt my MCQ will pull me down... but God'll help me pass yea? haha....

there are only two words to describe how im feelin now: sad and lost

waitin for my dad to pick me up. i dread going to his house. i dread weekends. i used to anticipate it. that was when i still had my feedom to go out with my frens. but now im restricted like a prisoner. so i dread e weekends. i was crossing e road juz now. i jay-walked. i was thinkin, if a car were to knock me dead and send me to heaven(or hell) rite now,i wouldn mind. cuz i cant meet my frens at all. all i face everyday are my family and walls and books and books. there's reali no meaning in my life. i'm sori God, but there's reali no more reason to live when u cant enjoy life to e fullest, and when u dun have e freedom to do wad u wanna do. it's like my dad's living my life for me. i hate the men in my life. i hate them.

i swear... very soon... one of these few years when i make it on my own....

i'm gonna walk OUT THE DOOR.

FUCK RULES. they're meant to b broken.

2004-05-06T13:23:00.000+08:00

itz been 6 daez since i blogged... mugmugmug... dreary exams..... juz got back..had social studies and Science(phys/bio) MCQ paper todae... sucked. i didn study for any... my science has deproved so much... lack of practise. bleagh.

told my dad im gonna fail mid-yr... hope he wun b angry at my overall results... ive got Bio tmr... i have only bout 8 more hrs before bedtime to stuff 15 chapters into my puny brain. my teachers have high hopes in me, n im lettin 'em down. sigh...

guess wad? my dad forbids me to buy anymore snacks cuz he says im gettin fat n my pimples are infesting my face. okiez so now even my dad says im fat... *sObS* heyz ive been doin crunches e past week daily k! heehee

talked to my ex last nite... its like we've known each other for almost 3 yrs... since i was 14... we saw each other mature so much during these 3 yrs... its nice to b able to b on good terms with ur ex... esp when e breakup was mutual haha... all i can sae is he's a very nice guy... haha but im not in Love manx... got no time this yr haha!! *OlevelsOlevels*

i've gotta postpone my Mothers' day outing w my mum to e nx Friday.. supposed to b this week... stupid exams... i'm Soooo Stressed!!! *pullshair* i miss my MUMMY....

-Big Long SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................-

2004-04-30T20:39:00.000+08:00

these few weeks are gonna b dreary.... exams are here! n guess wad? i haven even studied a thing. seriously. it'll take a miracle for me to pass overall.. i hope i do.. *juzprayjuzpray*...then my dad'll prob trust me more? bleagh. he's pickin me up soon... sigh. cant go for bible study. i'm stuck at home n everyone is in church now.. i dread e weekends. cuz i cant go out w my frens... i cant go clubbing!! i reallay miss e partaye scene.. aft this yr i'll prob b movin in w me dad permanantly. i dunno how i'm gonna survive!! i juz need to club... my butt is itching.. i need to shake some booty!

u noe... on tuesday we had to submit a compo on "my life story". we had to imagine tt we were dead and write a recount of our lives for others to read... so i said: after my o levels, i moved out on my own, worked to pay my poly/uni fees and eventually graduated with an Honours in Accounts...landed a good job, got a good husband, had two kids (older boy, younger girl), and migrated with my husband to New Zealand where u'll find greenest grass and
the clearest sea...(after my children grew up and we became grandparents)... and lived happily ever after.
wow. that's wad i really wish for... but then, it'd take lotsa sweat, blood, tears and some "miracle dust" to make it come true. how unrealistic.

had my English mid-yr today... God really helped me. There was this qn tt a lot of ppl couldn understand, and i was one of e blessed ones... i was juz staring at e sentence over and over again, n out of e blue, i juz understood it! if that's not e Holy Spirit, i dunno wad u'd call it... guess i'll do ok... maybe a C5? heh heh...with God, it IS possible! Amen!

did crunches todae.. finallay, im gettin my motivation back to exercise! whoohoo.. soon ill b able to fit into my clothes again!! i went from 48kg to 56kg (at 164cm) in juz three yrs k! n im ashamed of tt... maybe my boobs are heavy? *oopZ*

dad wants me to go work in June. "I want you to know how tough it is to earn your keep" ... grrr... hello!! it's 'O' LEVELs!! Unreasonable piece of shit. anyway, i tink i shld work.. i need to earn $ to buy all e stuff on my wishlist...

going to Kiliney Kopitiam tmr as usual... my paternal granny (e one i live with is my maternal granny) and uncle (e one i live with is my maternal uncle) are joining us tmr... grrr.... *DrEaDzZ*

there's Teenzeal this Sunday!! whoohoo!! i missed everyone! o, i told MOH to KIV my application cuz i figured i need to use all e time i can to catch up on my studies... *wisedecision,Sarah*

i've got a few scars and scratches on my legs now *ShRiEkSandCrIeS*... played soccer on Wed durin PE... i'm always either tripping or getting kicked on my shin during soccer... grrr.... i pray e scars wil go away... pls dun ruin my flawless legs... =|

currently missing: -my mummy
-my mama (grandma)
-clubbing (R&B)
-my friends (apart from Teenzealtowners)

CLIFF: brudder... thnx sooo much for alwaez comfortin me n hearin me out.... i'll learn to take things in my stride and let God take care of my affairs... i'll b strong... U have one damn strong sister here!! heeZ *LoVeLoVe*

SLOTH*DIDI: heyz didi!! u're oh-so-sweet! heez thnx for e lovelaye shoutouts manx... ilu [in christ]

i'm gonna blog like once a week now... needa MUG MUG MUG!!
cheerio!

+lostwithoutyourlove.withoutyourtouch.youleftmebroken.undone+

2004-04-26T14:38:00.000+08:00

had a so-so weekend. skipped bible study on Fri AGAIN. why? cuz my stoopid dad saes i gotta catch up on my studies. wad an irony. i didn even study e whole week AT ALL. did my English oral prelims on sat... e examiner kept sayin "good,good".... wonder if she meant it. for once in my life, i couldn pronounce my English words properly. wad a loser. went to Kiliney Kopitiam aft tt... and of course, to my fave ang-moh-nised NTUC!! whoohoo! finally found my Reese Peanut Butter cups!!($7) and my choc chip cookie cereal!!($10) and Mcvities' shortbread($3).... yea n my dad scolded me. "u're not gonna buy anymore chocolates u hear? all e stuff u pick r so ex! n u wanted to lose weight rite? n its bad for health...." blah blah blah...

dude, i dun care.

went to Heartland Mall for dinner. wow... my dad told me we shld get outta e hse to unwind. after dinner, he n i split up to shop for our own stuff... i bought a new skirt...
and he bought a prezzie for baby Megan!! Sunday was Megan's 1st mth partaye!! she's my cousin's daughter. i'm an aunt already. gettin old. tsktsk. newaez, i forgot to bring my hp out tt nite... my dad told me he'd b waitin in e car for me downstairs first... that was at 8.30pm... guess wad? i shopped til' 9.30pm n i totallaye forgot bout him!! when i rushed downstairs he'd left alr... so i took e MRT home... he'd juz reached home 5 mins b4 me n he was like kinda worried for me.. haha. it's kinda ironic tt he cant stand me but he's worried for me. wth.

Sunday HOW had caregrp meetin... Talked to this sec 1 rugby guy fr Barker(cant rem his name)... cant believe Barker lost to SJI in e Nationals!! "L".... hurhur....

then my dad came to pick me aft lunch n we went to Megan's partaye!! she's simply adorable... mymy. e beauty of a new-born is juz beyond words... my uncle was juz carrying her n juz softly starin at her n admiring her. tink he cried abit... *awww* had a nice time w me cousins...its been awhile since we last met....

o, my stepmum is back. hate her. she's alwaez complainin bout me. n she wans to sell e car juz cuz im alwaez late. insane bitch. hey, wait, INSANE is me. better not insult myself. MAD is a better word to describe her.

Lareina n i are gettin closer. we can really click manx. I love her to bits...

:.Insanity is juz.... purrfect.:

2004-04-23T13:56:00.000+08:00

this world to me seems reali cold. without money, u cant survive. without status, u're neglected. make one silly mistake and u're condemned.

why cant we exercise more forgiveness, love, faith and trust?
more empathy too.

That's why, i say... I reali thank God for faithful, loving, forgiving and understanding frens in TZT who trust me so much. Thnak you, my SwEeTiEZ, for making this cold, dark world seem so much brighter n warmer.

Whipped up "Bacon Carbonara" last nite for my dad n i... dinner is so quiet without anyone around. My stepmum wld've complimented on my cookin... My dad appreciated my effort, but he doesn like rich, cheesy, ang-moh food. i spent 1 and a 1/2 hrs cookin k... i started at 5.45pm, finished cookin, clearin up and servin at 7.10 pm. First, i chopped e button mushrooms, bacon and chicken-vegetable white ham. Next,i fried e bacon n ham. My dad was complaining tt e kitchen wld get oily (they dun usually cook).. Then, i boiled e pasta (shells)... Lastly, i stir-fried e Alfredo mix with butter, milk and i dumped e bacon, ham n mushroom into e mixture. Then i laid e table, cleaned up wadeva pots, pans n utensils i cld first, wiped e stove n walls and so there. Done. And...

We took just 20 mins to finish up everything. Now I noe how my granny feels everyday when she cooks dinner... sheer labour. But i enjoy cooking!! haha i miss my granny... she'll b back on Sunday nite!! cant wait ta c her on Mon!!

Had choc-peanut butter Swensen's ice-cream last nite. Swensen's standard has dropped. Went to NTUC to shop for e groceries ystday.. i've got this choco-peanut butter addiction now... Bought a pck of peanut butter filled chocs ystday, tt tub of ice- cream n tmr i think im goin to Kiliney Kopitiam for b'fast n drag my dad to e westernised-NTUC to get more Chocolatey, sinful stuff. grr... my addiktion is back...

I just realised tt if i were to move out aft my 'O's, its gonna b too tough.. money-wise... and i'd have to do damn well in my 'O's so tt i can tell my mum to let me b on my own.. She'll take me to London to club n shop, n get me a laptop if i do desirably in my 'O's. stress stress.

i'm not allowed to go for bible study til' exams are over... theres caregrp this wk...pray i can go.. and i'm gonna have to miss Sat Nite Fever. wad a fucker my dad is. we've been quarelling at least once everyday. intolerable stick up my arse.

i miss my sexaye. i miss my other half. i miss my didi*sLoTh. i miss my PrInCeSs LaLa. i miss my Chocolate Muffin. i miss my bugger. i miss e HOWers. i miss CREW.

BIG Shoutout To All my Beloved SwEeTiEzZ:

I'm so busy now. We all are, esp e sec 4s n 5s. I might not b able to meet or talk to u guyz as often as b4, until e 'O's are over. Some of us might drift apart. And i reali mis u guyz.. But thnx for alwaez supportin me when i fall.. when trouble gets me down... *Cliff,Joy,Imm,Sarah,Becky,Teachers*..too many to name. But one thing i noe's for sure, I'll alwaez b a part of u guyz n u guys wil ALWAEZ b a part of me. Christ is Lord of our Friendships... Inseparable, Unbreakable bonds, too stable to b shaken. You all have been a blessing in my life... and i AppreCiate You.
Friends Forever, aha?

U bet!!

My day has lost its sunshine
My night has lost its stars
Only ur prescence can bring e moonlight
And shine the light back into my heart.

2004-04-21T15:12:00.000+08:00

my dad is pissin e hell outta me. i have no mood to talk. no mood to eat. bleagh. FUCK THAT PIECE OF SHIT.

oops.vulgarities.

but, wad m i to do? too FUCKIN damn pissed off by him. control freak asshole. i hope i'll b able to move out aft my 'O's. cant take it no more. cant stand him.

Get a life, MOTHERFUCKER.

2004-04-20T12:56:00.000+08:00

so many things on my wishlist. so lil' cash. gotta ask my mum for help..
i miss all my frens. i need them to cheer me up now.
bad bad day. ponned sch again. only some of u wil noe y.
bad bad quarrel w my dad.
at home now.
gonna stae w my dad this whole wk. granny's gonna b outta spore n so is my stepmum.
alone in e hse w my dad? not a gd idea.
we'll c how things go.

gtg call him to fetch me now.

wish me all e best.

2004-04-19T14:36:00.000+08:00

ok...my legs are aching... e consequences of being lazy n forgoing regular exercise... ran 2.4km on sat... Gina took timing for me...actually i wanted her to cheat for me and write down 15+ mins... but she didn have to cuz i got a timing of 15mins 49 secs... k reali lousy but its not bad for a gal hu hasnt ran such a distance in so long..
durin e last two rounds i was prayin in tongues askin God for grace to sustain me manx...i was so tempted to juz walk e rest of e distance.. but i didn wanna malu myself in front of all e athletes hu were present, nor did i wanna fail n redo it so yea..*congratssarah*claphandsandstandingovulation*
haha..

after tt my dad picked me up n i sent Cheryl to sch.. for Social Studies workshop.. i lied to my dad tt it was juz remedial n i didn go.. now e teachers wan a letter of excuse n i m dead... newaez my dad, stepmum n i went to Kiliney Kopitiam @ Somerset *efoodrawkz* n had nasi lemak, chicken curry n kaya+gu-u (kaya+butter) bread... n iced barley... was so hot n hungry... so grateful for e food haha... then went to this NTUC near River Valley Rd... its so diff fr other NTUCs cuz its westernised, n they sell a wide variety of western brands of cereal, chips, cookies, savoury n sweet pastries etc.. i'm goin there to get provision nx time manx.. i bought Irish Cream sticks, Twix choc biscuits, oreos n coco crunch...*yummy* -piggyfied-...

then i went hm n took a bath, did e laundry, ironed my clothes, changed n went to M.O.H orientation.. i was alone but luckily i met Princess Sarah (thats her real name)... fell aslp durin e first part of e briefing*malu*... then they split us up into grps for "ice-breaking", n Cliff's dad and Jeremy's mum were our group's leaders... i found out hu they were thru Sarah_my other half... found out tt alotta Teenzealer's parents are servin in M.O.H(ministry of helps) in New Creation Church... so blessed. i wan my dad to serve there too.. sigh *juzprayjuzpray*

newaez my grp ppl were mostly mid-aged, e only young one (i was e youngest) was Seth Chan('bout 20-22 yrs old??) ... this guy hu's not bad lookin (heehee) n tall n gettin out of e army soon n goin to NUS... wow.. but funny thing is, we played this crossword puzzle game n he couldn spell.. literally... *sheesh*

As usual, Sunday i went to church-Teenzeal*praise God*.. reali felt refreshed manx... had a fight w my dad on sat nite... blah... i wore this translucent black top n a miniskirt n some ppl commented... i missed 3rd service cuz i had to get hm aft Teenzeal... my dad lahz hu else.. so horrible k cuz when i got home dad scolded me n we fought like violently... stupid shit asshole. grrr... he scolded me for wakin up late this morn too... gonna c him lata... hope he's cooled down... God will take charge lahz, yea? *juzprayjuzpray*

shoutouts:

Sarah_myotherhalf: babe...thnx for juz being urself n bein my fren..glad ta c u happier..dun worry bout him k...juz fix ur eyes on Jesus...u'll get sum1 1000X betta!!amen!u n i r so busy...but Daddy's grace wil sustain us n our frenship wil only get better...ilu.

Immanuel_Sloth: lil' brudder...ur sista is alwaez here 4 ya if u need to talk(better get ur number nx wk)... juz b strong, n remember tt when God closes a door, he opens a window, so if u cant go for camp in June, He'll let u go somewhere 1000X better k? *LoVeLoVe

Joy_mySexaye: heyz sexaye babaye... thnx for e encouragement last nite on sms... it reali calmed me down n picked my fallen spirit up... i'll b strong n determined... n learn to have self-control...cuz i have Daddy in me...amen haha... thank god for ya!! nv ever thot we wld b this close at all... this frenship will grow til' its too close yea? frens 4-eva... XOXO

TZT Leaders n Teachers: dunno if u all wil c this but i reali thank God for every single one of u... u guyz reali encourage me n r alwaez there when i need u guyz... thnx for keepin my faith when it was gone... thnx for leavin ur deep footprints in my life+heart...*HuGz*

Princess Sarah: heyz babe... well i hope u c this.. i'm behind u all e wae ya noe? anytime ya need to talk or ya need encouragement i'm here yea? i'm walkin with ya towards ya dreams!! so is Daddy... Faith conquers all things! =]

Dion_cradle snatcher: u meanie!! cant u juz develop e photos for me? i wan everyone's face for memory sake wad!! ya lahz i tink ur reali cute kk? so thats y i wan e pics!! i'm gonna bug u til' I GET E PHOTOS. period. hee hee =x

i'm reali gonna start revising fr todae. no excuses Sarah. juz GET UR BUTT DOWN TO IT.

Mummy's gonna take me to watch Saturday Night Fever!! whoohoo!! cant wait.. better go call Sistic later...
cheerio.

why do we fall in love when love'll only tear us apart
back then e world was ours everything was so rite...

But we were kissin' with our eyes closed so tight
So young n feelin' so right
Never thought that we could do wrong
O we were kissin' with our eyes closed so tight
So young n feelin' so right
I cant believe that those days are gone...

+i'mstillmissingu...somethings'llneverchange+

2004-04-16T15:17:00.000+08:00

haha at cheryl's hse now.. goin to my dads hse tonite.. he wun b home til like 5 plus.. i was stranded so juz come to cheryl's house.. goin home to scan e photos i borrowed fr her... my last b'dae.... they turned out reali well!! haha...

see lahz. quarelled w my dad again. over wad? cash? too many things to buy? haiz. when m i ever gonna let go of my concerns n let god take charge... sigh..

o i didn change e lens of ma specs aft all. my eyesight is stil e same... n cuz we quarelled(dad n i), i didn get to but my toiletries n my food...grrr...

as usual, i'm reali sticky n stinky now... e weather suckz.

cant wait for tmr n sundae... goin for MOH orientation for stewards... skippin Social Studies workshop tmr morn... but i gotta get up damn early to go to Nanyang JC to run my 2.4km... o!! cheryl juz said she's runnin tmr too!! hi-5!! haha... wad?! gotta b there at 7 am? grrr.... looks like both of us missed e run last sat so we gotta go this week... n on sundae, i can meet all ma hunkZ n bAbeS in church!! doubt ill b goin for 3rd svc after TZT... dad's e prob.. grrr...

okie cheryl's reali sleepy.. shes gonna go to slumberland n abandon me...

cheerio.

+there'snobodyelseinthisworldttcldluvu.anymorethanido.alwaezhereforYOU+

2004-04-15T14:48:00.000+08:00

waiting for my dad....bored. maybe thats y ppl blog... haha.
gonna change e lens of my specs. my astigmatism is reali bad.i need to wear glasses permanantly now i suppose. i wan coloured contacts... but dad thinks contacts ruin ur eyes. yea, there's some truth in that actuali. but i promise i'll clean em religiously !! haha..
i wan new specs too... a plastic frame. i tried on dark blue rectangular ones that dae. they make me look more matured.. like some school teacher.

hmmm....wad else do i need? o yes, coco crunch, granola bars, a new diary...christian CDs n hair conditioner. wow. dads gonna freak. he saes i'm too high maintainance. not to mention my high fone bills. n clothes n shoes n bags n e list goes on... juz cuz my stepmum doesn dress up or anything doesn mean i have to be as simple as her... after all, i'm e sophisticated...sexaye...charming Sarah Kh......ok. better not say anymore. juz kiddin manx... i dun have skin that's so thick.

as usual, e humidity in Spore is horrendous.

o wells. better b going.... dads alwaez complaining bout my "punctuality".

but then again, when does he not ever complain bout me?

shoutouts:

Joy: babe... b strong k? parents are sucky most of e time. so we juz gotta noe how to deal w em...all e best in everything u do... ilu babe...

Immanuel: heyz dude this is ur very own shoutout!! haha... aint it sweet? heehee juz wanna sae i miss ur crappiness!! *pinchescheeks* haha love u bro... god bless n c ya!!*HuGz*

there's a light in my eyes
it's too bright to see
and a pain in my heart
where u used to be
was i wrong to assume
that u were waiting there for me
there's a light in ur eyes

+did u leave that light burning for me...+

2004-04-14T15:57:00.000+08:00

its so bloody hot. grrr...had assembly todae. a concert was put up by e ASEAN scholars...wasn as bad as i expected it to turn out, juz tt it was damn stuffy n smelly in e hall... IJ TP's so miserly... cant we juz get an air-conditioned hall? found out tt e Vietnamese scholars stae at e Barker hostels!! whoohoo so damn cool...wish i could too!! hur hur....

my accounts test todae sucked. i couldn balance my trading n profit n loss a/c, n my balance sheet was incomplete.damn.to think tt it's my best subject.dad's gonna kill me. tsktsk. complacency is a big mistake.

whoohoo played soccer during PE!! so long nv kick ball ready haha!!(pun unintended)... hu says gals cant kick balls??(pun intended) heehee i'm not bad ok...take me on manx haha!!(sigh..complacency again..)

stupid Sam Tay. was supposed to accompany me to spotlight ystdae. pang seh me last minute. grrr. biatch.

watched chinese serials on ch8 e whole of last nite. didn even touch e books i brought home to "study"..tsk tsk. i need discipline manx!!

newaez, i wonder y all e drama serials have some love story in them... too romantic to b true... sigh... the feelin of Love is so so blissful.. as Nikko_my puppy alwaez says, "some dae my prince will come...he juz took a wrong turn n got lost...but i noe he will find me one dae..."

o, i LURVE e "Blue" by Ralph Lauren advert!! e gal featured is soooo sexaye... deep blue eyes..taut, bronzed body...

that's it. i'm gonna DISCIPLINE myself fr todae onwards.. gonna crunch everydae when i get home. i need to tone up my tummy n get back into my original shape. sigh.. n of course, control my diet.

but no, i wun give up chocolates... oopz.

wad a sin.

baby...do u reali wan me to go
so honey
why dun u beg me to stay for love
and talk e way we used to talk
til' we both know wad we've lost
never said e words we did before
til' it was over

Love ain't here anymore
No,no
Love ain't here anymore
It's gone away
To that town called yesterday
Love dun live here anymore

+Loveain'thereanymore.wheredidwego.iwonder+

2004-04-12T15:46:00.000+08:00

contemplating whether to put up pics... so leychey lahz... wait til i get a webbie... steph's gonna help me do up one in June.. HOLS.... i cant wait.

2004-04-12T13:36:00.000+08:00

Yesterday... it was Easter Sunday... i gave out Bunny eggs in church... n i'm sure all my sweeties enjoyed it... there was caramel, fudge and peanut butter to choose from... i managed to get hold of one peanut butter!! haha.. sum1 actually gave me a fudge one..it was e last one in e box..left it in a corner.. but when i was going to take e egg outta e box, it was GONE!! Must have been e Easter Bunny who stole it!! haha rite, Becky?? anywaez, Jeremy didn wan his egg so i took it.. e peanut butter chocolate RAWKZ..

ok ok, gettin fat already.. i wasn supposed to go for 3rd, but my dad broke his promise n didn come to church.. so i juz REBELLED. bad bad gal. n i'm glad i went, cuz i was so touched by His prescence in my life.. my eyes, nose n lips were like red fr crying.. n then after worship everyone fell aslp.. sigh i need discipline.. i'm gonna try to start QT every morning b4 my dad fetches me to sch..*juzprayjuzpray*

newaez i juz got home. had chinese prelims todae. SUCKED BIG TIME. e compo was hard as rock. n i didn study enuf, so i left e han yu pin yin qns blank. e compre killed me. thank god i'm stil alive. planned a timetable last nite w e help of my stepmum. i'm supposed to do my TYS everyday..until my 'O's arrive. i dread major exams. i will NEVER go to JC.. Poly's my ONLY choice...

Future Accountant. *amenamen*

walked with Teacher Zu Ming, Jack n some springfield sec. sch guy to e MRT ystdae. crapped so much... haha some shoutouts:

Teacher Zu Ming: doubt u'll ever see this but anywaez, thnx 4 being there everytime manx... so pesky rite haha... i'll continue to trust Him n i will try to resist CLUBBING... haha =)

Becky,Joy and the gals of CREW: heyz babes...stae pweety n sassay k? u guyz complete my world.. dunno wad i'd do w/o frens like u!! i'm alwaez here 4 u galz...
*muah*

Joel,Jeremy n the guyz of CREW: haha u all so cute lahz so cute lahz haha!! anywaez i'm here 4 u guyz too! we are winners in Christ! *huGzZ*

Zhen and Cheryl: thnx 4 all e gd advice n support... the leaders in TZT RAWK lahz.. nothin more to sae.. Love u guyz !!

Sarah_my other half: babe... no matter wad others sae... no matter wad they think... they can't bring us down cuz we have Daddy... we are strong sexaye sassay beeuuutifull babes of Christ... dun feel sorry... feel proud cuz THEY can NEVER b u... u are a blessing to my life... +weareone+

All my other SwEEtIeZ: itz been grrrrreat knowing u guyz... whether itz juz a hi-bye frenship, or a closer one... u nv fail to brighten my dae... +ilu+

in a twist of separation
u excelled at being free
cant u find
a little room inside for me

got a fist of pure emotions
gt a head of shattered dreams
gotta leave it
gotta leave it all behind now

whatever i said
whatever i did
i didn mean it
i juz want u back for good

whatever i'm wrong
juz tell me the song
and i'll sing it
it'll be rite n understood
i want u back for good

and we'll be together
this time, it's forever
we'll be united
n forever we will be
so complete in our love
we will never be uncovered again

[ijuzwantyouback...forgood]

2004-04-10T21:33:00.000+08:00

FRIDAY-
good friday.stayed at home alone w my dad. i m surprised we can chat.... w/o quarelling.. went to pick my stepmum fr e airport... she juz got back fr Bangkok...she bought me Baileys!! Yummy!!

SATURDAY-
here i am, at my granny's hse....utterly bored...had a good dinner.. fish n chips... n lotsa beef... feelin slightly sick. -Charlie's corner @ Changi Village rawkz- studied like shit for my chinese prelims on Mondae... so dead. i told my dad i'm gonna flung e prelims, but i'll do well for e 'O's. *juzprayjuzpray*

i'm startin to feel like a caged bird again. my dad intrudes my privacy. was writin a card for Cliff todae. he thot it was a loveletter. wtf.

i feel lik i'm forced to wear a mask whenever i'm with my dad. the real Sarah Khor is a semi-delinquent. the real me loves to club. loves to partaye fr e young nite into e wee hrs of e morning. loves to gallavant. get her butt down to town every weekend n juz hangout w her frens. sit at a cafe n juz laugh away w her sWeEtIeZ...leave e hse as n when she likes. stayover a her frens places -SlUmBeRpArTiEs- .....write stoopid loveletters to her crushes... listen n singalong to sappy love songs...

unfortunately, her f***ed up father DOES NOT approve of such RIDICULOUS behaviour.

dang.i really really really miss HIM. i could cry ten buckets full. n listening to sappy love songs all day didn help.

gonna introduce Teenzeal frens to dad tmr. *Lordpleaseletitworkout*
hope my dad doesn have anything bad to say bout em.

better log off b4 my dad starts nagging. Incessant nagging tt i cant stand.

baby, morning's just a moment away
and i'm w/o u once again
u laugh at me
u say u nv needed me
i wonder if u need me now

so many dreams that flew away
so many words we didn say
2 ppl lost in e storm
where did we go
where'd we go
we lost wad we both had found
u noe we let each other down
but then most of all
i do love u... STILL.

2004-04-08T15:36:00.000+08:00

Had stations of the cross todae... though i'm not a catholic n not familiar w catholic doctrines n ceremonies... but i'm in a catholic sch... n i rather go for cathecism than go with e non-catholics to e canteen to read a book(boring).....

every thurs-1st period is cathecism/reading for non-catholics.sumtimes its boring, sometimes its interesting. but todae it was sad. todae is Mondy Thursdae(is tt how u spell it?) it's supposed to b e dae Jesus was crucified(or tortured?)... anyhow, we had to kneel, stand, kneel, stand while reciting/singing e verses...it was reali sad cuz Jesus's death was so brutal. i still cant help but cringe at e memory of e movie, Passion. Too bloody. Too gruesome.

my knees hurt. but i didn complain cuz i realized sth...
wad He went thru for Us is more than anyone can ever go thru. I shldn b afraid of death cuz at least i noe when i die, i'll go straight to Heaven n be with my Lord. I wldn have to go thru so much pain, wounds, blood n sufferings b4 i reach my final destiny.

but ppl r juz so cold out there in e real world. n many of us arent aware tt our actions here on Earth wil determine the consequences we have to face ltr on in life.

Grace exists, but it only comes with the willingness to repent n truly let go of wadeva we're holding on to-anger,hurt,vengeance....

N sacrifices r meant to b made with all ur heart... not might... not for e sake of doing so...

so, i have decided to make sacrifices this yr. Juz b a goody good gurl, build a gd relationship w my dad, n study REALLY hard n get awesome results. Then maybe life'll get better. n at least i can stand tall w my chin up, n sae "heyz, i did it! i proved all my persecuters wrong!"

so there.

still feelin crappy cuz of him. sigh... guyz r realli problematic when it comes to relationships... rite gals?*but i stil love u guys out there!-my sweet frenZ*

talked to sarah last nite.
+thnx sweetie for alwaez being there...dunno wad i'd do w/o my other half! weareone*ilu+

this world
this world is cold
but u dun
u dun have to go

ure feelin sad ure feelin lonely
n no one seems to care
ur mother's gone n ur father hits u
this pain u cannot bear

but we all bleed the same wae as u do
n we all have e same things to go thru

hold on
if u feel like letting go
hold on
it gets better than ya noe

ur days
u say they're wae too long
n ur nights
u cant slp at all
hold on

n ure not quite sure wad ure waiting for
but u dun want to no more
n ure not quite sure wad ure searching for
but u dun want to no more

but we all bleed e same wae as u do
n we all have e same things to go thru

hold on
if u feel like lettin go
hold on
it gets better than u noe

2004-04-08T11:10:00.000+08:00

my dad.he juz got back fr thailand ystdae.ok,ok.i noe...he n my stepmum r reali nice...bought me shoes/bag/clothes.... BUT he left me alone this whole week to take e dreary bus to sch. "can i request that u go to sch on ur own this week? i'm tired"..... grrr so heartless.

i guess as u age u need more rest. or is he being lazy? (in the genes hee hee)...

sigh. i'm heartbroken. HE left me w a scar. n i'm still healing fr e wound he caused...

laters.

2004-04-07T17:13:00.000+08:00

had chinese oral.... i'm so screwed... read e passage like i'm some "AngMoh"... foreign to the language....n to think tt it was actually chicken feet... i nv touched my handbook tts y i nv saw e wordz...tts y i couldn read em?!!

my dads back in spore already i suppose... grrr.... hope we wun have ta fight again...

its gonna rain.e sky's so grey.

how depressing.

2004-04-06T12:32:00.000+08:00

rite..... damn irritated... juz read someone's blog n it reminded me of HIM.

i'd just like to say: I DUN GIVE A BLOODY DAMN SHIT ABOUT B-----N.

Those of u who're from Teenzeal, u shld noe hu i'm tokin bout. N if u dun, dun bother to ask cuz it's OLD SHIT.

I mean, those of u hu tink i'm still into him... get a life will'ya? cuz i can't stand it. I've got other hunks ta oggle at.

i hate myself.hate myself. hate myself. stupid Sarah. why were u so foolish to fall for him?? God... can't believe me... n to tink tt i was ready to go all out of my way just to get him. Desperate situation. Really. i'm so embarrassed. n everything juz had to end up horribly... making me even more embarrassed.

I juz pray tt e day wun come.... when i stop goin to Teenzeal. I mean, i dunno where to hide my face. But ya noe wad? if i stop goin to church, He'd prob have more things to sae n he'd despise me more... look upon me asa coward.

and i ain't gonna let tt happen. i mean we all make mistakes (esp terrifically silly ones)... we all fall.... n when we get hurt, that's when we grow... to be more mature. more aware.

To those of u who're laughing or having something to say, i only have two words for you.

FUCK OFF.

u have no rite to mock me. before u say someone is ugly (inside n outside), take a BIG, CLOSE look at urself. R u really that BEAUTIFUL?? R u ??

No one in this fuckin' world is purrfect.

So don't say you're beautiful,cuz it'll only make me regurgitate the ham and cheese sandwich i had for breakfast.

It's my life u hear? so stay out , BITCH.

2004-04-06T10:22:00.000+08:00

manx...my granny's naggin incessantly... grrr... cuz i ponned sch todae... woke up late.... couldn get a cab downstairs... whoa like i waited 20 mins ... but all e empty cabs passed me by.... n all e occupied ones didn change their sign to "hired"... made me look like a FooL....

i m so dead *pulls hair*.... my chinese Prelims this coming Mondae... 6 more daez n i HAVE NOT TOUCHED A SINGLE PAGE of my handbook.... juz pray tt for e chinese 'O' levels i'll do well...

gotta complete eng,geog,Moral Ed and math h/w.... i've become so lazy... mon i took cab ta sch... todae i wanted to take a cab...e bus takes too long... ZzZ.... my dad'll onli b back on Wed tts y i gotta go to sch myself.. how sPoilT. how Lazy.

wanted to meet Dion at e bus stop outside YCK mrt b4 goin ta sch todae, but he doesn pass by there often... n he reaches sch like 7.20am... my sch sux... they start so bloody early... 7.15? bullshit lahz... start early, end late... tOrTurE...

hope Mrs Kunna doesn screw me tmr... gotta type a letter of excuse..this time it's "diarrhoea"... or is "menstraul cramps" more realistic?

dang...i'm sleepy*yaWnZz*

cheerio.

+cuzican'tthink
+andican'teat
+it's3inthemorning
+andican'tevensleep
+cuzi'malltiedupinyou
+andidon'tknowwadtodo

2004-04-05T16:25:00.001+08:00

my gosh... i tink its takin over me again..its e attack of infatuation... i'm fallin...i'm fallin...

it's when ur tummy goes topsy turvy
its when u feel like ur soarin thru e skies
its when u feel u have wings to flutter like a fairy
its when u feel warmth come over u when u see him
itswhen u go pink when u talk to him
its when his voice keeps resounding in ur head
n when his face becomes e focus of ur mind's eye
he is stuck in ur head
u are stuck on him
you cant wait to see him again
u wish u could call him even though u're not supposed to
u wish u cld tell him
u wish u cld tell someone
you wish he wld say tt he does too
you dream.you fantasize.

it's like a disease. feels uneasy. u're trapped. there's no cure. all u can do is wait.

he's like a pill. u're addicted. when he's ard, u feel satisfied. when he's not ard, u get withdrawal symptoms.
your heartbeat increases. u feel e heat rise. u get giddy spells. u give in. u fall.

manx... lovin' is such pure bliss. dun u agree? go ahead... we all noe tt cute dude u've set ur eyes upon is absolutelaye lovelaye.

+idunneedanyone.itsjuzalil'crush+

2004-04-05T10:59:00.000+08:00

went to Parry's hse on sat.. watched passion.. so touching k.. like i cried so much haha.. now i noe y its m18.. its too gruesome 4 e weak hearted, too bloddy.. i cringe whenever i tink of e scourgings n stuff.. now i noe wad Jesus reali went thru to save e world.. haha e actor has beauutiful brown eyes.. he's quite gd lookin.. wth.

did OHP in church on sun.. kinda scary.. like its so stressful! u gotta keep up w e singers n find e songs fr e thick fat file.. e whole church depends on u!! haha...saw belle n nikko!! *muah.. miss u guys...

got ta noe Jeremy n Timothy.. they r sooo crappy... carry on laughing guys!! haha.. its gd medicine!! haha... Eunice was so sweet.. bought me Ritter sport cornflakes choc!! *wheeee.... cuz i lent her my dress 4 dinner this Fridae nite... sigh i cant go... nvm nx yr nx yr!! haha.... n guess wad happened to my choc? yesh!! jeremy, tim, hogan,sven, justin n Ray ate it all up!! during 3rd svc... pigs!! haha i was 2 kind to open it. BIG mistake.. haha! *kiddin*

o manx... TZT is gonna change to sat.. grrr... dun tink i can go anymore... juzprayjuzpray...

haha... i'm crapping too much manx... tc peepz... miss u all sweetiez*huGz*

cheerio.

2004-04-02T22:39:00.000+08:00

juz got back fr parents nite.. k i'm reali scared 4 me Os now!! must work hard must work hard! my teachers commented well on me to my dad.. good on u, sarah! heez* ... missed bible study.. so sad... i reali didn wanna go 4 parents nite. but cuz me stepmum aint in spore, my dad pulled me along. was so irritated.. butit turned out juz fine.. at least steph was w her parentz.. n ma teachers chatted my dad n i up.. heez i cant believe after this yr i'll b outta IJ TP. e place where e most interesting events in my life took place.my sec sch.. my beloved frenz. my beloved teachers hu r alwaez there 4 me. broken frenships. first bfs. first nite out. first clubbing experience. so many memories.. n after 2004, i have to move on. carry on w life in e cold scary ruthless world out there. its true. sec sch life is too sheltered.if life is difficult now, we aint seen nuthin out there yet manx...
dads leavin 4 thailand in approx 10 hrs! -FREEDOM- beams**

meetin HOWers tmr.. cant wait! this wkend, like all others, is gonna b very short. make e most of it.

i mis all ma frenz. i miss my mum. ....

sweet dreamz ppl. cheerio.*muah*

2004-04-02T07:01:00.000+08:00

wad a wae to start a FRIDAE.grrrrrrr... juz got to school.my dad drove me here, n we had this big argument.. AGAIN.wth? he confiscated my discman??? "u need to concentrate on ur studies first.show me ur results first.take it as a reward when u get it back" like wth???? its MY discman n it WUN affect studies?? helloz? like music helps u relax? calms ur nerves?? esp in times like these when u r soooo agitated! wad is my dad thinkin?? he loves confiscating things.. my hp, my SD card(wads e use of my digicam now) , my allowance... blah blah blah. so now, juz cuz i choked up $265 on my hp e last 2 mths, he's gonna deduct fr my allowance.heyz like u're supposed to give me $300 a mth?? now itz reduced to half?? wtf.wtf.wtf.
i hate my dad.yes, i reali do. control freak a**h***.

sori 4 e vulgarities, folkz.juz need ta vent out.

i feel pathetic.dang.
i guess when u have e cash, u call e shots.
can u imagine? no matter how "good" we try to b, we gotta admit- money IS imp.

gtg.cheerio.

2004-04-01T14:47:00.000+08:00

juz finished sch..waitin for dad to come n pick me...gotta go to e supermarket to get coco crunch,milo powder,cheese n ham.. all my fave goodies haha.. actuali my granny asked me to go.. so lazy..thnk god 4 my dad n his car...had a pretty bad dae again..my classmates..sigh.they dun understand e meaning of respect.e meaning of silence.e meaning of listen.manx.wish i had a gun.i'd shoot em all down..*bleagh*y m i being so saddistic? hurmmz...

sumtimes i juz fall too deep into emotions.i mean,though i've crossed the river fr e murky side to the clear side, i miss those murky times somehow.emotions juz tend to crawl deep into ur skin.it hurts,sometimes.sometimes it hurts too much.i'm over it, but e pain lingers on....

i miss u so
wad m i to do
yes i miss u
its sad but true
i miss those dreamy eyes
that replace e stars in e sky
i miss those sensual lips
we levitate to heaven when we kiss

i miss u
i dun noe wad to do
yes i miss u
n i havent got a clue
e pain u caused
left me w nothing but broken trust
i'm disintegrating slowly
fading into e air like dust

i miss u so
i jus cant let go
yes i miss u
i'm a fool for u
reminiscing
and thinkin wad could have been
i've learnt my lesson
love is a deadly sin

yes i miss u
moving on is hard to do
yes i miss u
i really do

this is totallay stupid.but wad can i sae? i was such a fool .. for him.
hope i can forgive myself.
get out of it, Sarah.

2004-04-01T11:08:00.000+08:00

in class now.. itz recess n some bitch fr my class is speaking in e f-language..afraid i'll eavesdrop on her "interesting" scandals.. wth i have better things to do manx.. wad a bimbo.. i juz wun mention names lor.. sigh my mth test sucked.. o YAY!! i can go 4 HOWers gathering this sat! dad's gonna b in thailand.. busines.. i'll be havin FUN!! haha cant wait ta meet ma sweetiez n watch passion!! tmr nite is parents nite.. dad asked me to go w him to attend .. so boring. they're gonna tok bout o levels.. i'll go w him n miss Bible study .. sigh.. cuz my stepmum aint in town.. shes goin tahiland first then dads gonna join her on sat.. hee hee.. kk be back lata.. love ya'll!!!

2004-03-31T16:30:00.000+08:00

rite... my post juz wun post. juz wun publish. this freakin thing... grrrrrrrrrrr!!!!
-blip-testingtesting-blip-

pls..pls..pls update.. o god.

2004-03-31T15:33:00.000+08:00

alrite.i've had it.i m PISSED off.this whole day's tottalay screwed up manx.firstly,Singapore's weather sux big time.itz been givin me migrains,pimples..mood swings..wad have u.y cant i migrate ta Korea? i reali miss life there.bustling street crowds into e wee hrs of e morning..cool ppl.. cool weather..unlike mundane S'pore.even e shopping there's better. n e rice there is e best in e world.not dry n mushy like our rice.dun fancy rice anywae.juz gotta eat wads available manx.o, gettin back to e pt,i'm pissed cuz secondly, e com's f***ed up.sori to use such crude wordz but i m in an explosive mood.e edits on my blog cant seem ta appear! wth? n 3rdly,i'm supposed to meet Jean babeh ta go hm together.i 4got ta meet her at 3.15 just now. Sarah!!! how cld u do this to such a sweetie?! *dang.somebody shoot me. 4thly,my classmates r bloody rude creatures.they think they noe EVERYTHING.like hello guys?juz shut ur trap n listen for ONCE wil ya? i hate bitchified ppl.o yea? wad'ya sae? sure i'm a bitch sumtimes but tt's only when u PISS me off, SUCKER..u gotta lose in life sumtimes, girlz.

my head's killin me. tmr's my math test. i'll b hapi if i juz pass..chinese prelims on 12th apr.Os on 31 may. so many things. so lil time.God, pls help me retain my last minute info k?

Heyz dudez n babez fr TZT..thnx 4 cheerin me up w ya tags..'preciate it.

missed HIM last nite.cant believe i missed him. cant believe i thot of him. itz time ta get a life Sarah, reali.not worth my time.but sumtimes u cant help when u simply remember.. e SOLACE u can get fr MEMORIES is ..indescribable.
like warm milk calming ur senses.. sending u off to dreamers' paradise...

stupid com.now, nobody's gonna irritate me. GRRR ..cuz if u do...
i'll shriek n blast ur head off.

i'm out.

2004-03-30T11:17:00.000+08:00

manx..woke up at ten.. switched on e com.. brushed me teeth.. washed me face.. ate organic cornflakes w low fat milk n lotsa lotsa milo powder.. rawkz manx!b4 ya sae "yuckz" go try it! i eat lotsa milo powder everyday..love milo dinosaur(self-made)..yumz!being e pig tt i am*oinkz*i eat anythin..wel not reali..but i m CHOCOLATE CRAZY..yea any form of CHOCOLATE. wad a sin. thank god i stil maintain my weight..talked to sarah last nite.. sarah kurian..e hot babe fr CREW! yesh she wanted me to talk bout her*tsktsk*.. so BHB rite? haha kiddin..i feel so incomplete w/ her..my other half..i miss her..i miss all my frenz..cant wait 4 this sundae! hope e dress code's white or sth easy.. itz sad servers cant wear micro mini skirtz.. handz up all u babez hu cant get enuf of micro minis*iseelotsahandswavin'* yea! c Zhen?u c? i'm not e onli one hu cant resist showin off my legs k?haha*hopeZhendoesnotseethis* haha kiddin lahz...i noe servers have ta set an eg for e other youths..heyz i listen to wadeva Zhen n other leaders tell me to do k! rite Zhen?? so guai* hahaz..my grandma juz got up..manx i stil miss her though she's in e kitchen now haha..embraced her last nite 4 e first time in 10 daez!! 10 daez is wae 2 long! itz sad she cant read blogs.. if not she'll noe how much i reali luv her.. though i alwaez exasperate her *oopz* by eatin in her room all e time*TV snackz*.. luring antz ta come n attack her @ nite..heez..o did i mention? I HAVE NO SCHOOL TODAE!! haha itz sports dae, n i'm supposed ta be at YCK stadium @ 1.30pm.. but i'm not goin.. badbad gal.. itz fun but i'm LAZY.. if u noe me wel enuf, ul noe i'm a pig..my favourite work out activities r: intense shopping, leisure swimming*suntansuntan* n dancin*indaclubbabeh*.. yeayea.. call me a pig.call me a sloth..but i'm happy to be ME.

Shoutouts:

SARAH: helloz other half! u noe i reali love u yea? we r so meant for each other aha aha? Sarah K.(1/2) + Sarah K.(1/2) = ONE... so r ya happy now tt ur mentioned so many times in my entry? haha..itz my pleasure.. i noe ur gonna call me so we'll gossip more .. stay SASSAY!

SEMI: heyz babe if i'm not wrong if ur e Semm hu tagged me..thnx 4 popping by.. juz wanna tell ya i reallay luv u n we gotta catch up sometime soon k?*muah*

EVAN: i dunno if ull c this sweetie cuz ur so busy all e time..juz wanna tell ya i enjoyed shopping w ya on sundae! sum1 got an hr glass figure huh? i'm so jealous! haha.. muz b e genes fr ur parents..hahaz kk c ya in sch babe!

BUGGER: if u do take time to read this, i'm reali proud of u!(u told me a secret bout being selected) ..God's gonna use u to move e youths manx.. Rawk on bro..ya noe i love ya*

QIWEN: Babez..remember sec 1 when we used to meet up so often..i stil miss e times we were so close..ur so near yet so far awae.. pls note tt i love u too much k.. n i tink bout u more often than i let u noe.. stae pretty sista*

BECKY:babez haven been talkin to ya much..we're both so busy..after o levels we'll go crazay k? heez.. *kisses

JARYL: heyz bro aren't ya proud of my blog?haha let me noe wad ya think, yea?*hugZ*

YANGYAN,NIKKO,JOBELLE: when r u guyz gonna come back to TZT!! it reali breaks my hart we've reallay drifted..wels juz wanted ta tell ya guyz i reallay miss u.. if u c this..i'm thinkin of u...

CHERYLkhoo+SAMtay: Heyz babez, my closest sweethearts in sch..though i may not show it all e time but u gotta noe i reali appreciate ur support n love 4 me..dunno wad my life in 4/4 wld b w/o u guyz..alwaez there 4 me to lean on.. i'm here 4 u all e time..u may not noe this but my arms r alwaez ready to catch u if u fall..this sisterly bond is UNBREAKABLE.Love you.

H.O.WERS: heyz i reallay hope i can join u guyz e nx cg outing k! nvm if my dad's a control freak.. DADDY has e keyz to every request.. so pray 4 me k? n letz carry on walkin in FaItH...

wel wel..usually ard this time in class i cant keep my eyes open.. feel so relaxed..one of e rarest dayz i can afford to wake up late..n i hardly spend time w me granny..o evan's supposed to meet me ltr..gonna lend her my retro dress*i lurve RETRO*black,white,atrocious polka dots..i'm lovin it! o wels i'm gonna do some chores @ hm..mama's naggin..grrr i hate nags..get them everywhere... esp incessant naggin fr me dad..tc ppl..

i'm off.

+irememberglitteringlights.
+incandescenteyes.
+stayspreservedinmymind.
+inthememorythereissolace.

*you'renevertoofaraway*

2004-03-29T16:31:00.000+08:00

helloz ppl...whoohoo i finallay set up my blog successfully...all thnx to steph!*muah* cldn have been possible w/o her...i was like a suaku tryin to learn how to edit e template n stuff.. newaez i'm stil in sch.. cant wait to c my granny when i get hm! haven seen her 4 a wk..she was in m'sia..blegh..nuthin to do there but shop n eat n slp..hmmm but tts juz wad i luv doin! wad an irony hee heez.. to all of ya out there hu visited ma blog..pls sign ma tagboard k?*love all my sweeties out there*thnx 4 bein there 4 me these few mths..to those of u hu noe itz been a tough time 4 me..wldn hav pulled thru w/o Daddy n my sweetiez!(TZT RAWKZ!)PraiseGodPraiseGod*Love
+idunneeduanymore.i'mstrongernow.thanku+

2004-03-26T15:22:00.000+08:00

-blip-testingtesting-blip-