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Tuesday, August 31, 2004 ponned sch todae... leavin soon... meetin Yan ...gonna check out my digicam at Sim Lim Square and but a 128MB SD-card... hmm e price has dropped trmrndously...fr near $100 to $50... wow. i feel so...outdated.stressed out and worried. no appetite. im sooo worried for my O's ... gotta score 15 pts n below man... feelin damn cranky... went to Junction8 with Cheryl aft Social Studies prelim yesterdae... went to Fox.. sale!! bought a black top and a grey miniskirt... oops!! im wearin it todae and i havent ironed it!! gonna b late!! supposed to meet Yan at 11.15!! damn. gtg ppl.tc....
Friday, August 20, 2004 laadeedaa... hmmmz gotta go to my dads hse by myself.. so lazaye... jniffer just called... hope i can meet H.O.W for lunch tmr aft my C.I.P... goin to Agape Children's Home tmr for C.I.P... been there b4... love kids. they remind me of me when i was younger hee... so carefree, so naive so innocent.hmmmz... thnx to all my frens hu're alwaez behind me... thnx for the comforting taggies... i guess... ill take it one step at a time...nuthin much i can do... for now, my main concern is the 'O's!!! TEN MORE WEEKS!! in ten weeks: -'O's begin -ill turn 17 officially (28th Nov.) -maybe im gonna dye my hair..perhaps curl it too?? -Secondary School life will come to an END. -i wun get to see my classmates/best frens every week day anymore.sobs. -i can stay away from Chinese forever and ever. except GOOD Chinese songs. like Jay Chou. -(I Hope) i'd have lost 8 kg and can finally fit into my 1st pair of Levi's again. Finally. -(I Hope)my pimples and scars wld have disappeared and i'd have flawless skin again. Finally. -I can party away with my Mummy, and (I Hope) friends. -I'll be attending GRAD NITE-whoohoo!!! *prettysexycattyndelicious* -I'll have to move out of my Granny's hse.and ill nv get to c her everynite again.sobs. -I'll be takin up the job offered to me at a Korean restaurant n will learn to speak Korean. -I can finally look forward to Poly life @ Ngee Ann-Acc&Finance. -MY FUTURE BEGINS. wow. how time flies!!! ten wks k! damn scared now!! im gonna mugmugmug fr now on!! onli ten wks!! im freaked out!! God, plsplspls... help me. Pls. Thank You.
Tuesday, August 10, 2004 ok... wads new in the life of Sarah Khor?? Depression, Depressed,Defeated.it's been 25 days since my last entry... prob the longest time ive been awae fr e com... not tt i hav a choice. im totally like a living dead. or u can sae living hell on earth. my Dad's like... ruined my life, seriously. as many of u noe, im not even allowed to go to my desired church, New Creation anymore. its been weeks (and it will grow into mths) since ive seen any of my beloved frens, besides sch peeps. im totally deprived. i cant even go anywhere on my own. in other words, im totally grounded for life. yes, u can sae im a loser, u can sae ive got no life. u can sae im a fucking loner, a fucking anti-social... cuz seriously, i dun c e point in living anymore... i dun even have a LIFE, for fuck's sake. i've come to the pt where im numb. where i just hav no more will or mood or desire to talk to anyone. even when my dad pulls me along to family gatherings, i try my best to back out. i just hate the fact tt WE pretend to b happy and a close-knit family, when in reality, it's all crumbled down. yes, and the fact tt i smile all e time makes it inconceivable tt im bloody UNHAPPY. ive come to the pt where im numb. when im sad, the tears dun flow. when im angry, the hatred just boils within me but i dun wish to sspit it out. when im happy just for a brief second, i cant smile. and when i talk to anyone, i naturally mask my bitterness with my plastic smile. i'd sae, i nv knew the meaning of "misery" until this shit opened my bloody eyes to see. until the dae i get my freedom, i will never b truly happy, or even happy at all. and to the stepmothers of this world hu think they can just butt into their stepchild's life just like that, FUCK OFF. cuz ur so wrong. u cant make a FUCKING child love u. STEPMOTHER is nothing but a FUCKING term. and not an affectionate one at that. and to the fathers hu abuse their child in any form (mentally,physically,verbally etc)... i'd sae to u: FUCK OFF. cuz ur just not fit to b a father. but if ur a parent hu's sincere, warm, loving, caring, understanding and most of all considerate, i suppose i wish i had u as mine. many hu read this entry wil think im in no position to judge anyone. true, but if u were in my shoes now, going thru wad im going thru now, i dun think u'd b half as "polite" as me, reali. im sorry ppl, but im seriously DEPRESSED now, and im gonna remain like tt until sth somewhere changes for the better. dun pity me. just remember tt my dad's the FUCKED UP one. and i dun love him at all. nope. not one single drop of love. eurgh. ALL MY FRENS OUT THERE: i reali miss everyone. keep in touch ogay? love all of ya. *mUaH*
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da babe .:Sarah Khor Xiuyi
+hot God.My Mummy.My 'Wai Po'.Frenz.JAY CHOU. -not MyDAD.hypocrites.jerks.bitches.rules&restrictions.
stash it a Panasonic Lumix or Cannon Ixus
records 03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004 rock on Alicia.
Becky.
Charis.
Cheryl Long.
Clara. holla holla
credits w4rnawarni : listen to the music designed by w4rnawarni @ blogskins |
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